The Combination Orgasm Saved My Life

Fri, 12/18/2015 - 07:29
Submitted by Betty Dodson

BN sent the following message:

“Great website! Very informative. I have a question regarding female orgasms for you as it has been a subject of tension between me and my gf... Well, tension for me. I know she can have them through squeezing her thighs together as she has told me (not shown me however but informed me they're "the best"...) as well as clitoral. Her clitoral "orgasms" don't seem to be very strong and quite short (usually a single spasm and a squirt of juice), but through penetration alone, she doesn't have orgasms with me... I know this has been denounced on your site as nothing to worry about and that the clit is the way to go, but as I know you've heard, nothing is more rewarding for a man than having his woman have a vaginal orgasm during intercourse. I know you're more of a female empowering site, but to let all the female readers know, nothing is more empowering for a man... Even if it doesn't happen all the time, once in a while would be nice.

I am concerned because I am decently endowed. Without exaggeration, I am 8" long... However I guess I am not as thick as I would like (or she would like, I guess is the case...) it's about 5.5" in circumference. After never experiencing a vaginal orgasm with her, I decided to buy a rather large dildo (10" long and 7" in circumference...!) When she used it, I feel she was trying to hide it, but I believe she had a vaginal orgasm... So ok, fair enough, she needs a thick cock to get off on. My question for you is, I would like to use my 8" length to pleasure her vaginally in the best way I can.

I know you don't put much faith in cervical orgasms, but I have done some research and there might be some merit to them (some women swear by them as it seems...) I can reach her cervix in almost all positions and am wondering if you (or any of the readers) have any suggestions on how to best work this into her having an orgasm. Of course clitoral stimulation helps, but if anyone has advice on a cervical or vaginal only orgasm, I'd love to hear it!”

Dear BN, I appreciate your honesty about what most women know, but we seldom discuss openly….mankind’s obsession with a woman coming from his penis. This is the Holy Grail for most heterosexual men, a fetish that has generated a world of women faking orgasms to keep men happy. As I’ve often said before, protecting the male ego seems to be encoded in a woman’s DNA. But smart men are learning that both men and women have a phallus: his penis and her clitoris. Look up phallus in the dictionary.

After a lifetime of enjoying sex including America’s sexual revolution of the seventies, I’ve had an abundance of sexual experience. Academia’s approach of crunching numbers from written tests (designed by professors who live within monogamous marriages) then given to college sophomores utterly confused with even less sexual experience. Field work always trumps Book Learning which is extremely limited compared to having actual sex with many different people. Let’s take Sigmund Freud for example; an orthodox Jew who lived during the Victorian era known for its extreme repression. Freud established the primacy of the “vaginal orgasm.” Did I mention all orthodox Jews can only ejaculate inside a vagina? So there was no jerking off or blow jobs for poor old Siggy! With knowledgeable people time marches on!

In the forties, Kinsey gave us shocking stats on the vast number of women who were NOT having orgasms from fucking. He discovered the national average of men thrusting after vaginal penetration was two and a half minutes! Is it any wonder women went to doctors to get manual clitoral stimulation to relieve their extreme horniness? By the way, it was a doctor who invented the first electric vibrator which allowed him to treat far more women.

Anne Koedt said it first in 1970 when she wrote "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm." In 1974, my book, Liberating Masturbation set off the modern women’s sexual revolution. As a feminist, I designed sexual CR groups with women masturbating together in a circle using electric body massagers. These groups were called Bodysex workshops which have since gone global as more women are being trained to facilitate these groups. Seventies feminists clearly established the clitoris as a woman’s primary organ of sexual pleasure. This was backed by the research of Masters and Johnson. However, our progress was undermined by Helen Kaplan’s book The New Sex Therapy that was considered the bible for sex therapists. In this method, the man stimulates a woman’s clitoris until she’s about to come, whereupon he then thrusts with his penis vigorously inside her vagina. This was classified as a vaginal orgasm!

After 40 some years of running Bodysex workshops, you can bet I'm a clit centric sexologist! Women are now up against porn standing in for authentic sex education, when in fact, it’s based entirely upon men’s sexual fantasies. Guess which one is his favorite? A woman having a screaming orgasm while getting fucked with the almighty penis! Let me remind all porn consumers that these women are professional performers who get paid to act on camera!

Along with porn educating our youth using a Male Model of sexual response, we now have the alphabet invading our vaginas. First it was the G spot with squirting which porn absolutely adores. Men pull out to show their ejaculation that represents his orgasm. Now we have women squirting for her orgasm. Only squirting is not the same as an orgasm. Oh, never mind! Let’s get back to women performing in porn. We’ve now added A spots (same as G only further back), P spots for the perineal sponge and finally D spots which is the deep spot that relates to "Uterine or Cervical orgasms" that you and many others want to know more about. In my educated opinion, all of these spots are new names for the ubiquitous "vaginal orgasm" which has become America's # One sexual fixation by sexually uninformed men and women who want to please them.

The penis thrusting in a vagina is the procreative model that’s been hardwired in both sexes. Similar to all male animals, the sex drive supports ejaculating inside as many vaginas as possible to further each species. Once a male has deposited his “seed” in a fertile female, his sexual role has been satisfied. A female giving birth fulfills her sex role and Mother Nature is satisfied. When it comes to sexual pleasure with orgasms, that’s a luxury. Any art form requires some degree of learning and training. Society does not offer any sex education or information that includes sexual pleasure in any form until very recently thanks to the Internet and a few websites.

Unfortunately, vaginal sex is extremely difficult for women to experience an orgasm for many reasons. First the prohibition of female masturbation stunts women’s erotic growth. Next, way too much depends upon her male partner which includes penis size (yes, size matters), his ability to sustain an erection, and skill in knowing how to move inside her body. All this is preferably with an uncircumcised penis that glides rather than needs fast friction. Did I mention every woman’s fear of an unwanted pregnancy? Or contacting some sexual disease? Needless to say, it always helps immensely if we throw in a big dose of romantic love which is a delightful form of temporary insanity that unfortunately cools off eventually.

My vaginal orgasm history was a mixed bag. Looking back, those sought after climaxes were elusive at best and only likely to happen providing a long list of my requirements were met; I had to be madly in love (romance). I also had to be on top to get indirect clitoral contact pushing into his body. He had to stay erect for at least twenty minutes or more. Oh yes, he also had to be cute and have a seven inch penis or better. Finally, he had to vow his sexual fidelity by promising to love only me. Even when all those demands were met, I couldn’t always count on a vaginal orgasm happening consistently.

As a struggling artist, I finally married for financial security. During my seven year nearly sexless marriage, I discovered financial abundance was better than struggling to have an orgasm. Divorced at 38, my partner sex was transformed when I began dating Grant. He introduced me to clitoral stimulation along with vaginal penetration at the same time! Fucking brilliant! His penis was average at 5. 5 inches, but his erections were firm and he stayed hard for thirty minutes or more while he verbalized hot dirty fantasies in a cultured voice with perfect diction. He was a retired English professor at 44.

The Combo Orgasm changed my life and I’ve been sharing the good news ever since. Smart men get it and their girlfriends enjoy orgasms consistently. So while you complain about not having a woman coming from your dick, you still live with an abundance of male privileges. You’d be a lot happier once you embraced the Combo Orgasm and worshipped both your phalluses and hers. Your ego is not your amigo! Happy O's from Dr. Betty

PS. Look up “phallus” in the dictionary. It refers to both the clitoris and the penis. Also Google “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm” by Anne Koedt. She disappeared after receiving several death threats when her article appeared. Anne really laid into Freud and men’s insistence on women coming from vaginal penetration only. I’m now rich and famous so at my advanced age, I don’t give a flying fuck what you or any other insecure man thinks. Women know what we want and as soon as we all get equal pay for equal work, sexual pleasure will finally take its place. That’s when women are acknowledged as the first sex and we clean up the mess men have made of planet Earth.

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I don't give a flying fuck

Fri, 12/18/2015 - 13:53
Moudi (not verified)

I love you Betty!
The way you worded this answer is just perfection.
Love tomcat

Take Matters Into Your Own Hand Ladies - Literally!

Wed, 12/23/2015 - 12:59

This is the best method for women who are on a steady diet of PIV penetrative sex only. Granted, most male sexual partners are only interested in SEX which society equates as Intercourse...penis in vagina sexual copulation. Men will tell you anything to get there, then once "sex" begins, expects the woman to enjoy that to orgasm "was it as good for you as it was for me" parody applies here.

The best way for a woman to control her OWN orgasm and not wait for the man to "GIFT" an orgasm to her via intercourse.....which is not likely going to happen......is to literally take matters into her own hand, so to speak - pun intended here. That is the answer for women who wish to experience an orgasm during intercourse, self stimulation of the clitoris, which is virtually ignored during intercourse, and most men either are not going to bother with oral pleasuring to orgasm, at best they use it as a stimulation of the female to go for intercourse - or not that good at it so this seems to be the most efficient means for a woman to climax in this 'fast food sex' life we have created for ourselves in this society.
 
Peace out, Happy Holidays!

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