Don't Know Where I Am on the Labia Scale of Normal

Mon, 10/05/2015 - 07:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I came across your website whilst reading up on labiaplasty. This is something I have been doing for a few years now, but realistically the potential fall out is too great a risk (loss of sensitivity, bleeding, recovery etc). My Problem is I read all of your articles and what women say about their labia's - some say the inner minora is 1/4 of an inch longer... Mine is 2 inches longer than my Labia Majora.

I honestly don't know if this okay? I have looked at so many pictures of other vulvas online and I can't see the extremity of mine anywhere. I have nothing else to go off other than pictures online and blogs of other women;s insecurities and so I am hoping you can shed some light on what you think I should do and whether this all does sound normal, maybe I'm the exception to the rule and do need this surgery? It affects my mind, the way I feel about myself, and my sex life overall. It plagues my mind and I want to gain some kind of control. I'm not an insecure or worrysome person at all, and there are things I wish I could change for sure but this truly over comes me. Pathetic I know.

I fantasize about being comfortable with my vulva and allowing myself to be seen intimately but I don't know if this day will ever come. I'm 28 now and I just want these thoughts gone. What should I do - I would appreciate any advise at all.

Many thanks
A

Dear A,

Pathetic indeed and yet it's still driving you crazy, yes? It never dawned on me to measure my long dangling inner labia especially the one on the right side. Once I learned it was erectile tissue and part of my sexual arousal, I began to feel proud that I was so "well hung" like a guy with a big dick!

Also it helped to have a lover who adored long labia. For him, my vulva was more delicious to suck on when he did oral sex. So you must chose your own path...to continue to obsess over this or begin to take some pride in you vulva, long labia especially. There is no such thing as "normal" so make an even bigger effort to get over your obsession!

The other option is always there but surgery doesn't seem fair, not until you've shared your vulva with at least 3 different guys--then see how you feel. I'm rooting for you to LOVE yourself just the way you are!

PS. Just stopped to measure mine! And I've got you beat by nearly 1/16th of an inch, so bla bla, I win!

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Perfectly you

Mon, 10/05/2015 - 12:36

I also had no idea of the huge variety in labia and vulva generally until I found Betty's website.

Why was I so surprised to find everyone is different? I have never come across perfectly matched faces (& wouldn't a crowd of identical people be really freaky) yet somehow I started out expecting everyone's vulva to be identical - it isn't as though all the dicks in the world are identikit.

Dear A, You are perfectly "you" just the way you are. There are no right or wrong size or shapes of labia. Mine turned out to be too small to accomodate my first daughter's rather large head. They ripped. Not a big tear but still something I'd have avoided if I enjoyed your lovely larger labia (or a child in less of a hurry).  It's also worth remembering that as with the rest of the body, as we get older things change. Your vulva will change along with the rest of you whether you have surgery or not.

I choose to see my changing body with all of it's imperfections as  witness to life enjoyed and lived well and I really hope that you can learn to appreciate your gorgeousness just as Betty suggests.

so great to learn about the variety

Wed, 10/07/2015 - 17:20
J Lynn (not verified)

I too never knew the variety of labia and vulva styles until I discovered Dr Betty's work! She has really done us a service to share this beauty widely. It might be easier now to see a variety of vulvas (vulvae?) with the internet and social media like tumblrs, etc., but when I was a teenager in the 1990s there wasn't much available outside of porn. 
In my case, I have fleshy outer labia, but tiny, very plain inner labia. After learning about all the beautiful, baroque inner labia, I've come to feel a little envy! But I can't complain, because, small as they are, my little ones have helped me have great orgasms regardless. 

As Betty and all of these

Wed, 10/14/2015 - 16:56
LisaT (not verified)

As Betty and all of these commenters have already said, everyone is different. I recommend browsing the gallery at the large labia project blog. 

I also used to worry about my large inner labia, and wondered if I had stretched them from scratching myself when I was a child (looking back, I think I must have developed vulvovaginitis from frequent bubble baths). Like you, I had no way of knowing that large labia were not a deformation and was very insecure during my first sexual encounters. It was for nothing, and if any partner were to comment negatively, you just know that they are ignorant, insensitive, and not worth keeping ;)

Vulva Emojis

Fri, 10/16/2015 - 08:33

Just came across some vulva emojis through twitter that seem to include a fair range (and feeling only minor irritation that they're called vagina emojis)

Adorable Vagina Emojis Exist And We've Never Been Happier

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