Worried There's Something Wrong Down There

Thu, 08/13/2015 - 08:50
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'm 17 years old and really want to become sexually active. However I am worried that I am not 100% normal down there/ if there is something wrong with my vagina because to me it doesn't seem completely right; so I'm worried about having sex. I'm also worried about the pain of the first time.

I don't really know what to do and I am too embarrassed to talk to anybody about it. Do you have any advice?

Thanks x

Dear C,

You and a gazillion other teens have been thrown into society without any sex information or coping skills. Naturally you think something is wrong with your sex organ with no idea of how orgasm feels. You are a sexual zero and it's not your fault. Parents rarely can deal with the subject and we know most religions control us with sexual repression.

It's time for you to begin learning about your own sexuality. This starts with guilt free masturbation where you explore your body alone privately.

The information you need is inside our website so access it and start learning. There are drawings and photos of vulvas to show that you are "normal" and how to begin learning what feels good for you when you touch your sex organ after discovering all the different parts. D&R is your home study course in female sexuality. After you have learned how to give yourself an orgasm then you can consider the next step. Until that happens, continue having a love affair with yourself. Now start reading and learning. It's fun and exciting and we all know that knowledge is power.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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A straight man's opinion

Thu, 08/13/2015 - 14:53

For what it's worth, coming from a straight man...

I've seen more vulvae than I care to count: certainly enough to know that the vulva can have a wide variety of shapes, colors and sizes. But I could not possibly pick out a favorite shape, color or size; I think they're all beautiful.

I remember having similar misgivings about my penis when I was 17. I think by the time I was 20 I stopped caring, although I'm pretty sure that women have to put up with a lot of body-image crap than men do, and thus it's harder for women to stop caring what others think about their bodies.

Wonderfully, beautifully normal

Sun, 08/16/2015 - 11:22

My 17 year old daughter would roll her eyes and shrug, but it is still true ....

You are perfectly, entirely and beautifully physically "normally" you. You cannot be better or more wonderful than you already are. As you age, your body will change. It will still be you. Learn to love yourself and other people will learn to love you as well. Value yourself and other people will value you too. Spend the entire time pointing out the bits of your body and character that you like least, and that's all people will see, whether to reassure or criticise you. You deserve better.

When you think of sex with a boy, do you worry about whether his dick will be "normal"? No - whatever the shape and style of him, his dick will just be a normal part of him and who he is, like the colour of his eyes or the funny way his eyebrows wiggle.

Aside from basic hygiene, the occasional wash, there really isn't much that can go wrong with your vulva. Just look through the range and style of vulvas in the gallery on this site for some reassurance.

There is quite a lot that can go wrong with sex. Certainly it should not hurt. Even the first time! Honest. The best thing that you can do for yourself and for your future partners is to practise sex with yourself. Learn what it is that your body likes so that you can share your pleasure and show him the way forward. Be safe and sensible. This is such a wonderful journey and it is worthwhile taking some time to understand yourself to make it as pleasurable as possible.
Good Luck