When the question “How can I make some white stuff come out of my vagina?” went to the top of our most popular list, I groaned. Immediately I know this is another example of kids viewing online porn for their primary source of sex information. Let me tell you, it breaks every sex educator’s heart. We all know it’s more difficult to unlearn misinformation than it is to master new sexual skills with the correct information.
Here’s the original question and my answer on D&R:
“I've been having sex with my boyfriend for months now and i love it. he does everything right but i think i've either masturbated too much or i dont know how to cum. he always says " I wanna see some White Stuff ... " What the hell is white stuff? How can I make some white stuff to come out my vagina?!”
“I fear you have both fallen for the G spot hype. You need to masturbate more to better understand your own sexual response patterns. Don't listen to your uninformed BF. He is NOT doing everything right if he's waiting for you to squirt "white stuff" which isn't female ejaculation. The reports usually describe a clear fluid. His precious "White stuff" is a vaginal discharge that's from a pussy out of balance. Google yeast infection or read what we have on our website under vaginal discharge.”
One of our readers called me out on my wrong headed statement “vaginal discharge” and she was right to do so. Her example was that a lot of women “cream in our jeans” which is true. My phase of having a heavy white discharge was due to my diet when I was on diary overload. Once I started paying attention to what I was eating, creaming my genes became minimal. Also our bodies respond to menstrual cycles and mental states. Most vaginas are always moist to some degree or the walls would stick together. And my favorite image of pussy juice on our panties or on chairs when we’re naked was what Carlin said, “Leaving snail trails” which is so cute.
The controversy and discussions over “female ejaculation” goes on and on ad nauseam. It’s become downright boring. The latest hype #notpee is the ultimate in denial. Sorry folks. The bladder is the only major fluid producing organ in the area. Ejaculation from the urethral sponge or “G Spot” is never more than a teaspoon. Now I’m not arguing that the expulsion of dilute urine doesn’t feel good— especially if an orgasm goes along with it. Yes, that combo would definitely make cleaning up the wet mess well worth it.
I ended with my usual suggestions to “Go to ‘First Time Orgasm’ and read my suggested steps on how to become orgasmic. Your clitoris is your primary organ for pleasure. The vagina is the birth canal that all little boys want to play inside of instead of bothering to find out what you prefer or what would give you an orgasm. But of course you would have to know that first so you could tell him.”
Over the next five years, people kept responding and the thread grew in length. One person commented: “Yu all crazy. Yikes there appears to be a lot of misinformation out there, or a lot of jokers acting dumb. But it was fun reading.”
I totally agree, except as a sex educator it’s also depressing when I think how people can remain so uninformed when it comes to the female orgasm! Her poorly stated question demonstrates a total lack of understanding about her own sexuality by some kid who gets all of his information from watching online porn and then she blames herself. Maybe she masturbates too much or doesn’t know how to come.
Yes, we can thank porn for “White stuff” which is a hangover from the ubiquitous G Spot that promises a woman will “squirt” a liquid if her partner finds the magic spot and adequately stimulates it. Then she will “ejaculate” just like he does. We are told it’s a clear liquid, or sometimes bluish white like skim milk, or just as our questioner said, “White stuff.” Misinformation confuses everyone.
Today, very few kids have ever heard of the G spot book written by professional sex researchers back in the eighties. The three authors were concerned about a handful of women who had this response. They feared these women would block orgasm because they thought they were peeing. Instead the book turned a much larger group of women into feeling inadequate because we had never ejaculated. Thus many guys couldn’t wait to “Make her cum.” Naturally new books and classes cropped up teaching women how to ejaculate. In no time, “squirting” was mainstream American sex thanks to porn.
The porn industry had been limited to a man ejaculating outside a woman’s body as proof of his orgasm, “The come shot!” Now they had a new visual to entertain viewers with proof that SHE came. Only problem was when women claimed “squirting” was not the same feeling as having an orgasm. The female orgasm is similar to the Lochness Monster. Few have actually seen one but we’re told it actually exits.
The original questioner, asks his girlfriend to “Make white stuff come out her vagina” like he’s entitled to having Mayonnaise on every sandwich she makes. It seems to me that men come in two varieties: One group doesn’t give a rat’s ass about a woman’s end pleasure. The Second group is overly concerned because her orgasm is proof he’s a good lover. That “white stuff” becomes better than any Boy Scout badge or Army Medals or scholastic degrees according to the importance placed upon it. He now has proof he’s a good lover, followed by girls so desperate to please.
The big problem with this “coming” business is more than half of all women fake orgasms including “squirting.” Just drink a lot of water, bear down at the right moment and scream out loud.
Maybe it’s just as well guys never understand what women want because it’s easier to fake an orgasm than to train a lover to do what we want. On the other hand, nothing will improve the quality of heterosexuality until women come clean and tell the truth that they didn’t orgasm. However, this sexual truth would mean women must sacrifice their addiction to romantic love and millions of love stories go down the drain.
Although I too was addicted to romance, after a lifetime of sharing sex information, I for one would gladly shout “Good riddance” to what I now see as a destructive myth: “Love will conquer all.” How many young girls have been told, “You’ll know when you meet the right man?” I’d hazard a guess with gazillions. Or the belief that some day the Prince will sweep us off our feet and we’ll live “happily ever after.” We need many more stories devoted to the “ever after” part like sexless marriages, spouse battering and wives who never enjoy an orgasm. Ever!
Orgasmic sex between couples of all preferences is an art form; it doesn’t come “naturally” and love has little to do with it. Yes, a person can have talent, but without any training, they’ll be limited. The reality of selfish lovers (male and female) is rarely mentioned. Yet, quality sex information is available online. Dodson and Ross have tons of solid information about masturbation and partner sex free for the taking. D&R also offers visuals when you stream our DVD’s that show explicit sexual images devoted to both male and female masturbation and orgasmic sex with a partner.
However, learning requires some effort like covering information more than once and then practicing. Talking with a lover openly about the sex you just shared while still in the “afterglow” is a winning activity. First we comment on what we liked best. Similar to sharing your thoughts about a delicious dinner recently enjoyed. Once the positive has been stated then each partner can suggest what might enhance your respective orgasms even more.
C’mon America lets educate ourselves so everyone can enjoy an endless number of happy orgasms alone, with lovers, in threesomes and moresomes. Sexual pleasure is healing and we all know the world is in desperate need of some major healing. Immediately!