As I Get Older Concerned About Having the Privacy to Masturbate

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 09:50
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been lucky to be a masturbator since I was a young girl. My mother would try and catch me at it and then shame me for doing it. Since I couldn't understand how something that felt so wonderful could be so bad I kept doing it--and learned to be a very good listener while so involved! I am about to turn 60 and I'm STILL masturbating, more than I have in years thanks to bio-identical hormones.

I have 2 friends in their 80s and 90s who have moved into assisted living. They cannot have locks on their doors. I don't know that they are still interested in orgasms but as they're still breathing, I would think they are. It is a concern that has entered my mind lately: I will want to ALWAYS masturbate! But if the time comes I must go into such a place, how does one find privacy to do this activity that I so enjoy? Are we depriving the elderly of this wonderful gift?


Dear C,

Yes, most elder care facilities are like the rest of America... really hung up on sex, especially masturbation. Thanks to Christianity, we are still a Puritan Nation. When (if ever) you go to assisted living, I'd challenge anyone who walked in on me while masturbating. What a marvelous opportunity to become a sexual revolutionary in our old age. Privacy is a joke in America with our Government listening in.

I just give them my political agenda and tell them to fuck off! We will NEVER give up our masturbation, never!

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Don't Worry C

Tue, 05/12/2015 - 11:33
LizW (not verified)


Just to make you feel more at ease, assisted living facility employees know residents masturbate and generally respect their privacy. I have worked in many facilities and it's just a given that the elderly masturbate. The better facilities have a policy of knocking on the door and announcing who you are before entering the room. Masturbate on C. :)


Same here

Sun, 01/21/2018 - 17:38

I'm now 72 and still masturbating 3-4 times a week (sometimes more, rarely less) My wife and I rarely have sex these days and I'm in the situation where I'm going to have to confront her with the news that I want private time during the day to watch a bit of porn and masturbate. Gee it's a difficult subject to broach with a conservative partner. I've been suffering anguish over the thought for some time. 
It's just not fair that there's (often) such a disparity between male and female libidos as we age