This is more of a thank-you/feedback email than a question. I wanted to thank you for promoting the use of the Fleshlight (and Eric as well, since I also read some of his stuff about it on your website). I will tell you exactly why.
I have been in a relationship for about 2 years. It took my partner and I awhile to get to the point where we were happy with our sex lives, but we had pretty much reached that point. Then, suddenly, he was often unable to orgasm from penetration anymore. This was very unusual as it was almost always a sure thing for him. It also became harder for me to get him close with manual or oral stimulation (although we had come to accept that he was unlikely to reach orgasm from manual/oral alone, we were starting to use these things to help him get close and it suddenly started to do less for him).
I was getting worried. Although I strongly agree with you that we are all ultimately responsible for our own orgasms (and my partner is slowly beginning to see that too), I really like being able to help each other. He was getting worried too. I slowly started to introduce the idea to him that maybe his fast, hard masturbation technique was making it so that nothing else can live up to his own hand. He agreed. I sent him a few links about the Fleshlight and eventually he bought one. He did not like it at first, but slowly has come to love it. The last time we had sex was one of the best times ever. He used to required fast and really hard, but this was slow, very slow.
It was intense, but so amazingly slow. Slow enough that I could actually keep up and feel like I was more involved. And it HAPPENED for him! First time that it has in awhile. And last night, I was giving him what was intended to just be basically a gentle penile massage. Gradually he became harder than I have ever seen/felt him become. He got SO close to ejaculating and my hands/arms/wrists were not killing me from having to jerk the heck out of him. It was amazing. I was so damn aroused from watching him bask in this pleasure for probably close to an hour. No way could I have lasted that long doing the hard, fast thing. In the end, he needed to help out a little, to get over the edge, but we both feel that continued Fleshlight practice will make things even better!
Who would have thought that focus on improving solo practice techniques would spill over SO much into our mutual activities! This really proves that we must know ourselves first, that we are truly responsible for our own orgasms, in one way or another. It felt so good to not have so much responsibility on me. He is teaching his own body to respond to my touch vs. me having to somehow make it work. If only people would realize how much this would increase their partner's desire to engage in sexual activity with them. I am SO turned on by all this.
Please continue to discuss the Fleshlight and thank you again!
Thanks for getting back to me and share your success story with using the Fleshlight sex toy to help your partner get beyond the fast friction hand-job.
I know we are a long way off from this, but at some point, I'd like to see masturbation skills actually taught when children reach puberty. All the crazy ways kids struggle with weird systems for genital contact is actually setting up a habit that can negatively impact their sex lives later on.
Congratulations to both of you.