Dear wonderful doctor Betty,
So I'm seeing a new guy and I'm not sure if we're really compatible in bed. The first time we had sex he was very aggressive and seemed to like spanking me and choking me. I let him know I wasn't really into the choking and he's since stopped that. Now I have a few other issues with our sex and I'm not sure if I should just chalk it up to us not being compatible and move on, or work through it.
1. We've only had sex a handful of times but it seems like he can't cum during sex. We've done it both with and without a condom and every time we end up stopping and he jacks off while I lick his balls. He's even stopped me giving him head and moved me to his balls while he jacks off. I'm very confident in my blow jobs and am open to changing it up, but he doesn't talk to me. His hand and my mouth on his balls makes him cum but I've never been with someone who can't cum from vaginal sex/blow jobs and it's throwing me.
2. Next on the list, he seems to like anilingus (me giving, him receiving) and I'm not really sure I'm into it. I did it once to him while he was jacking off and he came immediately. I don't love the idea of licking down there but I can tell he likes it so I don't know what to do. I'm also trying to work through the stigma of a man who likes a finger in his ass. I enjoy it so I shouldn't judge him for enjoying it as well, right?
3. Finally, I only really cum when a guy goes down on me and fingers me simultaneously but this new guy doesn't ever use his tongue. He'll finger me and rub my clit but it's not enough - I need his tongue. I told him this and he replied "I'm not good at it" and dropped the conversation. I don't know if I should take this as he's actually not confident in his abilities (which we can work on) or that he doesn't like doing it (which is a deal breaker for me).
Is this too much? Should I move on to the next one or try and work these things out?
Just as you suspected......move along. This guy is bad news. He's watched too much porn while he jacks off so that's why he's got you licking his balls while he handles his dick. Anyone who won't reciprocate is a loser.
You can do much better than him so quickly move along. One of the easiest ways I found to let a guy go is to tell him I just fell in love with someone and we are going steady. Don't waste another minute on Mr. Selfish.