If They Partially Remove Your Clitoris Can You Still Orgasm?

Thu, 02/12/2015 - 08:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a Muslim girl and I shouldn't be wondering this but I can't help it. In my country, when a girl is born they perform clitoridectomy where the clit is partially removed. I asked my mother why they do that and she said it's so that the girl won't orgasm easily so they won't turn into "bad" girls. I'm really upset by this because I thought after I get married I would get to experience the kind of feelings the characters from those erotic books feel (another thing I shouldn't be doing is reading erotica).

I'm not very religious so I don't feel much guilt about all this. There's barely any sex ed in schools here and it's natural to be curious. I don't wanna feel too scared on my wedding night. Which is actually a long time from now because I'm only 16 but I'm excited for it. Anyway, I tried looking for my clitoris using a mirror and I don't see anything that resembles a clitoris down there. I think I looked pretty thoroughly. Maybe it's just really small or I'm looking at it wrong or it's not there.

My main concern is that my orgasm experience might be ruined and I won't enjoy sex as much as my future husband will. It'll be so unfair. So please can you help me clarify a bit more about what having a part of your clit removed really means?

Dear D,

Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types. So it would depend upon what kind you underwent. Perhaps your mother knows. The following info was taken from Google. If you search FGM, there is lots of information available.

1. Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).

2. Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are "the lips" that surround the vagina).

3. Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.\

4. Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

Since we have only recently discovered the "Internal Clitoris" it's possible you can still feel pleasure from vaginal penetration but a full orgasm might be a problem. Even American girls who are intact have difficulty with orgasm from sexual intercourse due to the absence of masturbation in childhood. I applaud your bold acceptance of wanting to enjoy sex under very difficult circumstances. Some of my spoiled American girls have no idea how good they have it here compared to what other young girls must endure in countries that practice FGM.
Just be aware that those romance stories are like fairy tales that are NOT true.

Your masturbation practice might begin by massaging your entire genital area with coconut oil and fingering around your vaginal opening as well an just inside. This is where we have our most sensitive nerves other than the clitoris. Later on when you explore full penetration, pressing up into the ceiling of your vagina which indirectly contacts your urinary tract or G spot, some women report feeling pleasure from this. Ultimately our minds are one organ that can create the most excitement of all, so don't hesitate to develop your sexual fantasies during your vulva massage.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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FGM

Thu, 02/12/2015 - 09:24

Where you live will have some impact upon the type of FGM that you might have undergone and how much of your clitoris remains.

In Egypt, Sudan, Somalia etc it is normal to have had type II FGM, whatever your religion, Muslim or Christian. One of the most succesful strategies for anti-FGM programmes is to involve religious leaders in dismissing false links to the quran or bible. Successful programmes also focus on bringing the topic into the public sphere, giving visibility to communities that have already abandoned the practice and making an alternative choice known. In places like Egypt or the Sudan where >90% women are cut, it seems normal to have cut/sewn up genitals.

Whilst it's tempting to see this a problem that happens somewhere else, it is becoming increasingly common in both the UK and US as a result of immigration. The Population Reference Bureau (PRB) in the US estimates the number of women at risk for FGM  has practically doubled in the last decade.In particular there is the risk that young girls will be subjected to "vacation cutting" where they are taken to their parents birth country to be cut as part of a coming of age ceremony during school holidays.

Teachers have a role to play in identifying at risk kids as well as dealing with the consequences after they return home. Most UK hospitals now have FGM policies though our record in policing FGM is poor.

In London a doctor was recently aquitted of FGM after a woman presented in labour, had to be cut open to give birth and then was restitched to prevent her bleeding out. This woman probably lived within a couple of miles from my home. We know it happens but struggle to do anything about it.



This is one of the very few

Fri, 02/13/2015 - 08:22

This is one of the very few subjects I don't feel comfortable talking about because it's gonna be all emotion and very little reason. But I wanted to say I'm sorry this happened to you and I applaud your writing in and asking questions about it so everyone can better understand this is going on.

FGM - me too!

Tue, 01/19/2016 - 00:12

Like Jeffrey, I find this somewhat difficult to talk about.  Australia is a new country, non-Indigenous Australians can't trace their origins to before 1788 here - then they have to go back to their ancestors' country of origin.  Many are 1st generation migrants.  Working in anti-DV groups one encounters women who have suffered this appalling procedure. The physical damage is bad enough, the psycological damage is profound.

The original post was very moving, Dr Betty's reply quite to the point.  My partner in Adelaide and I both always gave the same answer "yes you can", but the difference is, she would try to explain how, I always thought the victim should consult a professional.  I think you should correspond with Betty privately, if you are not already doing so, and maybe she also knows someone in your locale you could talk to. 

FGM is DV.  There's a move in Australia to use the marginally more accurate term "Family Violence". Whatever one calls it, it is inexcusable. Anyone practising it here can expect to spend a long time in jail. On behalf of all men I offer abject apologies for this awful act.

D

FGM - more thoughts

Tue, 01/19/2016 - 01:06

FGM is the one part of DV I find hard to deal with.  I have been involved with one young woman my partner and I tried to help, who was murdered by her boyfriend 3 days later, another horribly scarred woman whose partner had poured petrol over her and set it alight, and who, after serving several years in jail, was applying to the court for custody of their son on the grounds she was too disabled to be able to properly look after him!  And so on.  But it was when I encountered FGM that my stomach turned.

 

I share a house with a hetero Nigerian couple, both pastors in the Redeemed Christian Church of God. I know they want to convert me, but it just isn't going to happen - I'm too anti- religious. I don't know if the woman is a victim of FGM, probably not, but in 3 years I've never even tried to turn the conversation in that direction. I'll talk politics, feminism, other forms of DV, but not FGM. Posts on this subject make me realise I should if I can do it without violating her privacy or making her uncomfortable.

In Adelaide there was a woman victim of type III FGM who spoke out loudly and publicly against what she called "the ultimate oppression". If she could do it, why haven't I? But regardless of my position, we need more like her.


WOMEN, SPEAK OUT, condemn this for what it is - PRIMITIVE, OPPRESSIVE, BARBARIC.


The original correspondent must be praised to the hills for her willingness to confront this difficult subject.


D

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