I'm Worried She'll Laugh at My Penis

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 08:41
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 16 years old, and recently stumbled upon a video of yours, having to do with penis size. I recently blew a chance with an older, experienced girl, and just recently started "hooking up" with another. I feel as if my dick will be a joke to experienced girls.

I'm a late bloomer, and am expected to continue growing in all areas of my body, however, the girl I am with at this moment is down to have sex. I've already done oral play on her breasts, and I know for a fact she wants to fuck. I am worried she will just laugh about my dick. its not tiny, I'm around average size.

Dear G,

You fear is common and it's unnecessary. Girls rarely laugh at dicks unless they are in a group and being nasty. It's mostly guys that make fun of each other or make comments about girls tits and ass.

So in order to get over your fear, bare your penis. Take him out for a test drive. First time sex will most likely be over in seconds so rest a bit and go again. Enjoy.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Size and decency

Mon, 12/15/2014 - 12:41

G, no decent person would ever mistreat you because of your anatomy. Any girl who did is not worth a second of your time. Nor is size particularly important, since intercourse is not how most women have most of their orgasms. (Write this in a notebook 100 times and read daily until memorized!). But honestly, I wouldn't rush into penile-vaginal sex, even if she makes it clear that she wants to. There's far more to good sex than just having intercourse. In fact, oral and manual sex are much more pleasurable for many women (and guys too) than plain old intercourse. I would suggest learning all you can about these other sexual techniques (and about how people really have their orgasms) before you even try to go to bed with anyone. Being eager to experience partner sex for the first time is understandable, but taking the time to educate oneself beforehand could make your early relationships far more rewarding and less scary.

Equally important is how you and your girlfriends treat one another. Get to know this girl as a person. See if you really like one another and actually want to be intimate. Treating one another with respect, concern, and sensitivity is the foundation of any worthwhile relationship. Two inexperienced lovers can always learn better techniques, but there's no substitute for basic kindness and good will.

Enjoy the Journey

Tue, 12/16/2014 - 05:28

She won't laugh at your body, any more than you would laugh at hers. Both of you are likely to be very anxious and self-concious which is why Betty and Patrick's advice is so good.

I wish someone had told me that you don't have to do everything at once. It's far more likely to be fun for her, and therefore something she'll share with you again, if you take it easy and enjoy the journey.

Getting to know each other's bodies though heavy petting will do a lot to remove the body fears of both of you. Spending time getting to know each other through mutual masturbation and oral will payback dividends when you actually get to penetrative sex.

Agreeing up front that you're not going to have penetrative sex, and seeing how far you can get without penetration, is one of the most fun games you can have with sex whatever your age and experience. It also takes a lot of pressure out of the situation.

& as always, make sure to have condoms available just in case. Good sex is always safe sex.

Enjoying a mutual journey

Wed, 12/17/2014 - 19:04

Excellent reminders from NLH and Betty that getting to know our own sexuality, and sharing it with another person, is a journey that's meant to be enjoyed. As we go along in life, many of us learn that there is a huge variety of pleasurable things we can do with ourselves and one another. If we pay attention, we'll learn that penetration itself is NOT the essence of sexual pleasure the way most of us imagine when we begin to have partner sex. (That notion might be why your girlfriend is in such a hurry to 'experience sex' by having intercourse.) Intercourse is just one part of hetero lovemaking, and for many of us it's not even the most important part. There's no need to rush into penetrative sex, in other words. So enjoy learning together, and keep a sense of humor about the silly things that can go wrong during sex. Be kind, be safe, and have fun.

I never thought about penis size until around 3 years ago

Sun, 05/17/2015 - 05:06
Johnjohnjohn (not verified)

Hi there

Some words from a 63 year old.

Although I have always known I have a smaller than average cock, I never much thought about it. I am fortunate to have never had a woman comment on it.

I've also always believed that it's what you do with it, etc.

I met my current partner 3 years ago. She had only ever had one sexual partner before that, and I can only assume he must have been even smaller than me, because she thinks I'm huge! How funny, we joke about this all the time now...

So relax about your size, but just pay attention to everything you can learn from this site. Ignore the big dock porn stars and concentrate on taking any girl or woman you have sex with, to the stars.

Good luck!