I'm Having a Hard Time Lasting Long Enough to Make Her Come

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 08:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty

I am a young man seeing a girl the same age as me.  We have only recently started having sex and I am having a hard time lasting long enough to make her cum. I find her to be wetter then most women I have slept with (which feels amazing) and was wondering if this could be the cause?

In previous relationships I have been long lasting and satisfying or so I've been told. This new relationship though I can't say the same. I am more then generous with my time down south and always wait for her ask me to come inside. I have asked her to be more vocal about her likes and dislikes but she seems to shy or unwilling to give me feed back. Could you give me advise on a way to make her more comfortable sharing with me?

I have heard you reference practicing to hold back an ejaculation and was wondering if you could elaborate on this as well?

Dear K,

It's so sad to know that millions of young men struggle to "hold back" until their GF has an orgasm. Yet, very few women can have an orgasm from penetration only. This is especially true in the early stages of sharing partner sex. Your Girl Friend doesn't know what to tell you because she doesn't know herself due to the absence of masturbation. Imagine that you'd never masturbated during childhood or as a teen and someone asks you how you like to have your dick stroked? You simply don't know and that's embarrassing to say the least.

I suggest you and your GF go onto the website and read around. All of your questions are answered there and it's free for the taking.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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K, you and your girlfriend just need more accurate information

Wed, 11/12/2014 - 17:26

Dear K,

You and your girlfriend just need more information and experience, as Dr Betty says. Some women do have regular orgasms from intercourse, but not most, and those who do are probably already very familiar with their own sexual responses from knowing how to climax from masturbation. Also, many women who orgasm from PIV sex are being helped along by some form of direct clitoral stimulation rather than just depending on the more indirect kind that most sexual positions can provide.

Men can learn to delay orgasm by 'relaxing' the PC muscle, if there's really a good reason to do this. For example, if they know that their partner can come through penetration, is close to coming, and just needs a few more minutes of stimulation. Even then, we should be enjoying what we're feeling, not fighting it. If a man climaxes during intercourse, he can very often just keep going and come again. The idea that men have to ration their orgasms and can only have one just isn't true. You've obviously heard about male 'come control', which confusingly implies that female satisfaction is highly dependent on long bouts of PIV intercourse. This is seldom true. While women do take longer to climax on average than men, PIV sex is definitely not the best orgasm-producing method for most women even if it lasts a long time. In most situations, men should feel free to come when they're ready to. 'Control' is just a technique that might be helpful in specific situations like the one above.

So it's important to know that intercourse is not the only way (or even the best way) for couples to enjoy sex and have orgasms. Many women (and men too) have far more frequent and intense orgasms from oral, manual, or vibrator sex. I would encourage you and your girlfriend to learn everything you can about sex, from D&R and elsewhere. Learn what you really like. Practice alone, and practice together. Be honest, be safe, and have fun. You and your friend might best think of 'having sex' as much more than just having intercourse. It's an opportunity to share intimacy while exploring all kinds of other fun and interesting possibilities. Best wishes.

Nude ...

Thu, 11/13/2014 - 10:54
barn dog

walk, swim, massage together, & y' all come !! ~~~ :>)   Love Spot

Lasting long enough?

Thu, 11/20/2014 - 18:36
Jeffrey65802 (not verified)

If you're having trouble 'lasting long enough' you're not going about helping her orgasm properly. That doesn't involve your penis at all. It's all touching, caressing, kissing, licking, and stimulating her clitoris.

Have taken an hour just undressing a woman, kissing and caressing her bare skin as it becomes exposed. But the time I began orally pleasuring her she was literally bouncing around on the bed like the girl in "The Exorcist." She then ejaculated and it was awesome, my first time with that. But we didn't start intercourse proper for quite a while. After she seemed to orgasm proper, after the squirting, and shoving my tongue away from her hyper-stimulated clitoris, we cuddled and talked about it. Asked if he she could cum riding on top as I'd love to feel that all over my tummy and bod. :) But bottom line, getting women off is half foreplay, have clitoris - has nothing to do with our cocks.

let her come

Fri, 01/16/2015 - 12:33

 It`s a restricted mind only to make intercourse with a girl or woman. Cock and clit can celebrate
"wedding" too by grinding. Once he grinds her clit with your cock and then vice versa or both together. Especially if a clit is really big, it gets a great thrill also for a man, if he has an open mind. You can feel the clit how it pulse and how hard it can be. So all men are blessed who has a girl/woman which has a really big clit. And isn`t it really randy if she is on top and her her head is by your feet, so you can see how her clit is grinding your cock, or you are with your head at her feet and look how your cock is grinding her best piece?!
All this doesn`t mean to ignore the intercourse, but it is important to change your kind of sexuality and give the phantasy a good chance.