Dear Dr. Betty,
I was always able to have multiple orgasm for over 20 years, any time I wanted by having my clit stimulated . I had seen a story about women having nerve damage and no longer being able to orgasm after internal Vaginal surgery . The story was by a number of female gynecologists who were horrified at the number of women claiming to have lost the ability to orgasm after various surgeries .
I was about to have a procedure to help with incontinence and some damage caused from a forcep delivery many years ago. I questioned my surgeon about the story I had seen earlier. He assured me this would not be the case. I have not been able to have an orgasm since. I believe I've had nerve damage caused by the surgery.
I still get very wet and excited and still love the intimacy and sex. I do not get the build up and muscle contraction at all. I have tried everything. Used the magic wand. Definitely feels nice but turned right up I still can't get muscle contraction. Used porn, magic wand, clit gels, you name it , I've tried it all.
The surgery was about 4 years ago. I'm 51 now and still getting my periods. Beautiful, loving man in my life . Healthy, regular sex life. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any ideas that might help.
Ah yes, the medical professionals are not taught much if anything about sexual pleasure. And I'd include therapists into the mix as well. It seems sexual pleasure for women is a new frontier. I've been on it for the past 40 years and honestly I can say, not much progress has been made.
I hope you at least let the fucking doctor who performed the surgery know about this. Law suits are too exhausting but he should at least hear from you. At least a letter if not a personal visit.
It seems you are putting a lot of emphasis on "muscle contractions" to signify orgasm. I rarely if ever have "muscle contractions" but I am aware of my pelvic floor muscles getting tighter the closer I get to orgasm. Your urinary incontinence was the result of having a weak pelvic floor muscle. That's why many doctors suggest a woman do Kegel exercises to tone that muscle after child birth.
I've also noticed that many of my middle aged clients have weak pelvic floor or PC muscles. Working these muscles including the use of my Vaginal Barbell will tone them if done on a regular basis. I use this muscle during sex with myself and with partners to enhance my orgasms. Perhaps this will help restore some pleasure into your orgasms. It's worth a try.
Also, using a Magic Wand does require some skill. You can't slam it down on a defenseless clit and demand an orgasm. I don't suggest using the High mode. The Wand requires a slower build-up using some softer clit stim first. Also be sure to use lots of some organic massage oil like Almond or coconut oil. Count your blessing that you have a beautiful, loving man in your life with healthy and regular sex. That's half the battle to achieve pleasure in our lives. I'm enclosing some links that might be helpful.