Is This What the Average Person Encounters When They Look for Porn?

Wed, 09/10/2014 - 08:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have never been a porn consumer and out of curiosity I've just been looking for porn the usual way, through google so I open the average porn site and the first thing that appears is:

Teens love huge cocks
Ugly and old wants to fuck you now
Hot mature women are desperate to be fucked
Your wife will hate this site
Better than whores, these moms fuck for free

These are just some examples. Is this what the average man (person, teen) encounters every time he looks for porn? Is this what my siblings are watching? Even if they don't enter the teen side, these images have an effect.

What do you think the effects are? Especially the teen side?

I don't know anymore Dr. Betty....I'm confused and right now feeling a bit low...good day

Dear G,

I too struggle with much Online porn that's available. Yet I cannot accept the idea of censorship as it leads to more problems than it solves. Early on, Carlin and I were talking about our vision for the website, I told her I wanted to make "New Feminist Porn" that was hot and honest based upon mutual orgasms. That's when we created our first series with a couple demonstrating different sex positions. These short clips were based on what I was teaching so women could also enjoy orgasms during partner sex. Then life interfered as we struggled to survive after our economy crashed.

It's the same problem with showing so much violence in entertainment, movies, video games, etc. Again I cannot accept the idea of censorship as it leads to more problems. So I return to creating positive sex images to restore some balance. But guess what? Whenever I show a vulva in any regular media, it gets censored as X rated.

Only recently have I gotten decent press dealing with the Bodysex workshops. Most of my career teaching women about masturbation has been treated as a laughable dirty joke. But now these same workshops are being quantified by academia to look at the benefits! That's a beginning! My favorite statement these days is, "I'm an overnight success at 85." This is by way of saying, change is VERY slow. So don't consume porn and look for alternatives. Write some sexy stories, do a few drawings or make a scrapbook of images you find erotic.
Just remember that censorship is NOT the answer.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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why?

Wed, 09/10/2014 - 13:01

Why would censorship cause more problems than it would solve and what problems?

Personally I doubt that censorship would be effective. Censorship wouldn't work very well because of the international nature of the the porn business (impossible to agree standards, norms etc) and the difficulty of policing the web generally.

However I did see it as my responsibility as a parent to "censor" what my children could view on-line through parental controls on the computers as well as talking to them and making sure they understood that porn is fictional.

If it was practically possible, censorship might be of use in driving up standards (no children, no violence etc)

Censorship and protection

Wed, 09/10/2014 - 14:19

I agree in principle with protecting our children against exploitive material, particularly depictions that show brutality or sexual acts that are coercive or confusing (a child could not possibly understand that a couple practicing S&M are consenting and doing what they want to do).The best defense, however, against a child's being influenced by depictions of uncaring sex is to explain honestly to our children what caring sex involves: tenderness, consideration, fun, reciprocity, shared pleasure. If they ever happen to see sexual acts that are not loving and mutual, they will know right away that something is very wrong. Adolescents are old enough to be provided high-quality, sex-positive education that is explicit about the body, our sexual responses, masturbation, orgasms, lovemaking and healthy relationships. This is an excellent protectant against getting one's 'sex education' from the battering-ram intercourse and facials of porn.

The larger question of censorship is, 'Who decides?' When I was a child, the Catholic Church had the 'Legion of Decency' and the 'Index', and the Church banned countless books and films. Betty's and Carlin's whole body of work would have been condemned and forbidden. I have no doubt whatsoever that even today the Catholic Church would consider the whole D&R site as gravely sinful and would shut it down if they could. That's an example of why censorship is likely to harm rather than help society.

Finding good porn is a chore

Tue, 09/16/2014 - 06:29

Finding good porn certainly is a chore for me. Having to wade through so much junk to find things that turn me on rather than off is annoying. I feel like I'm finding only little dribbles of what I could find. But I do enjoy good porn when I find it, so I put up with the difficult hunt. When I find something I like, I download it so that I don't have to go hunting so much anymore. I can just click on my porn folder and look at stuff I've already found before. It's no wonder men like my husband have such huge porn collections. I'm just a novice at it really and I'm already developing my own small collection. I'd like to find some good (and free) porn for women sites rather than having to wade through so much stuff that that's clearly directed mostly at men.

Depends

Mon, 11/10/2014 - 10:11

What your sex terms are when googling for porn will determine what comes up. What you mentioned sounds like generic ads moreso than anything you're then going to. Also, but for screenshots and examples I'm not sure how fruitful google is for porn searching. No shortage of commercial and free sites with all manner of porn, shouldn't need google after not too long having these bookmarked.

Been downloading internet porn since highschool via usenet and IRC.Though porn on free newsgroups is gone, it remains on pay servers. Torrent sites are the new usenet to some degree. If you know what you're looking for, you can find it on a torrent site. We'll assume for the sake of liability it's all free torrents hehe.

My experience of porn today is 95% of it sucks. It's nothing I wanna watch, and more like porn-fiction than how people really pleasure together. But I'm more into the 70s and some of the 80s stuff. On torrent sites can look for stuff like this via terms like 'classic x' or 'classic xxx,' or when you have the time 'xxx 1970' and go incrementally year by year. A lot of good European made porn came about during the 70s and is readily available via torrents. Have noticed cultures more sex-positive than our's in the US make much better porn.

There's a lot of good porn, but unfortunately most of it is the modern 'gonzo' sort which is really disgusting. And this is from someone with 25 or so years experience with internet porn. :)

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