Recently, I was sent a link to new research on female orgasm. Using MRI scans, science has finally mapped women’s sexual response to clitoral, vaginal, cervical and nipple self-stimulation on the sensory cortex to understand the neural systems underlying female sexual response. Five researchers were involved but one stood out by promoting vaginal orgasms - Stuart Brody.
Once again, the clitoris took a back seat to the vagina. However, there was one piece of data that made sense to me. Yes, women can have vaginal orgasms but not with an average size penis. According to this research, women need an 8-inch penis and 20 minutes of penetration to achieve a vaginal orgasm. That has definitely been my experience.
I decided to pen a letter to Mr. Brody and address this research head on:
Dear Stuart Brody,
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when you stated in your AIMS: “To examine the extent to which women's vaginal orgasm consistency is associated with (i) being told in childhood or adolescence that the vagina was the important zone for inducing female orgasm; (ii) how well they focus mentally on vaginal sensations during PVI; (iii) greater PVI duration; and (iv) preference for above-average penis length.”
I’m a sexologist teaching women and their partners how to get beyond the restrictions of PVI sex, especially since it rarely or never ends in orgasm for women. What exactly do you mean by “Better psychological functioning?” as the result of vaginal orgasm? Let me guess, could it be that vaginal orgasms support a man’s fantasy that his penis is all any woman needs to be satisfied? And women are relieved to know they are “mature?” Are we really doomed to continue rehashing Dr. Freud’s silly Victorian notion that women having orgasms with their primary sex organ the clitoris are actually infantile?
It’s quite ludicrous for me to visualize my five-year old self sticking my finger inside my vagina to get the same “good feeling” that humping my pillow provided as I pulled the pillowcase up tight against my functioning clitoris. And during my long sex life with an abundance of sexual partners, I’ve only known a handful of men who matched your PVI duration with an above-average penis length. Besides taking women back to the Victorian Age, you’ve eliminated a large portion of our already sexually insecure male population.
Back in the fifties, Kinsey put the national average of penile thrusting following vaginal penetration at two and a half minutes! Since Big Pharma is looking for a pill so women can orgasm in six minutes, I presume the national average of erect penises is up three and a half minutes. However, my clinical experience shows that most women need up to twenty or thirty minutes of stimulation just to get her internal clitoris fully erect. That’s when a woman is ready to enjoy some serious fucking.
Since this so rarely happens, it’s no wonder the sale of electric vibrators has soared along with eight and nine inch dildos. Most women never experience their orgasmic capacity. Once fully aroused, she could easily accommodate several men. The group sex days of the seventies showed us that after having sex with five to ten men, we were finally sexually satisfied.
Am I to assume that society’s recent war against women to turn back the clock on birth control and legal abortions is actually based upon mens deepest fears of being sexually outmatched? It’s true, women are more sexual! My advice to mankind is to relax and accept the truth that women are capable of mulitple orgasms spread out over hours.
The good news is that being with an authentically orgasmic woman riding the waves of sexual ecstasy is a thing of beauty to behold. Any sophisticated lover can enjoy the live action which will fulfill his every visual desire. An orgasmic woman is quite opposite Disney’s romantic image of girls kissed awake by a Prince. It’s far beyond what porn offers with its cartoon-like make believe sex with women pretending to enjoy his cock plunging into her every orifice that ends with her on her knees worshiping his phallus and sucking him off as he spews cum all over her face. That’s pathetic!
Finally, what will educators and therapists tell our already insecure male population with average five and a half inch penises? “Sorry old chap! You’re going to have to strap on an eight inch dildo in order to reach her sweet spot so she can have her vaginal orgasms!”
Instead of coming up with another “theory” or rehashing an old one, wouldn’t you agree that it’s time for sex professionals to ask what we can do to alleviate some of America’s sexual ignorance and misery? It’s way past time for society to get beyond the selfish male model of sexual response that doesn’t work for women who’ve been faking orgasms for centuries just to keep men happy and to keep the peace.
Back in 1995, I first began answering the occasional question online free of charge. On my current website, I’ve spent the past ten years answering from five to ten questions a day. We just reached one million page views so our followers are many with an emphasis on youth. Borrowing a page from the anthropologist Margaret Meade, she claimed that answering questions was the best way to learn about any culture. I agree. I’ve learned that people are totally lost when it comes to sexual pleasures. Our American youth went from “Abstinence Only” to hard-core online porn for their sex education! I can tell you from personal and vast clinical experience that sexual pleasure rarely exists in our depressed and violent society today.
Instead of promoting the androcentric model of sex from the Victorian Era, I propose we create mutual pleasures between women and men by finally ending the debate of vaginal versus clitoral orgasms. Once we combine both clitoral and vaginal stimulation occurring at the same time, we create the Combination Orgasm thereby ending the age-old battle between the sexes.
Add to this the vast array of new sex toys that offer even more pleasurable sensations with an abundance of orgasms and I wager we’ll have a more peaceful society. According to my extensive online research and clinical practice, the combination orgasm has enhanced numerous couple’s sex lives. I’d be interested to hear what you and other sex professionals think about my new paradigm to enable heterosexuals to share orgasms.
Betty A. Dodson, Ph.D. clinical sexologist