Are Vaginal Orgasms Better Than Clitoral Orgasms?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 08:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

First, I'd like to thank you, you and Carlin for your work on making women more aware of their own body parts and on understanding their sexuality. I've been following you for a long time now and I really enjoy your videos and articles. I always learn a lot. Thanks to you, things changed in my sex life and I'm more comfortable in it and am enjoying it more and more. So thank you.

I know that you think that the first organ of pleasure for women is the clitoris. You don't seem to agree on the existence of G point that would lead women to experience what we call a vaginal orgasm, which implies (in my mind) an orgasm where the clitoris is not involved.

I live in Paris (France) and I recently heard an author (who described herself as a feminist) who was talking about her novel and explaining that we mislead women by telling them that they should experience pleasure through clitoris only. She said that this was (to her) an "extreme" way of seeing female pleasure that has been defended by certain feminists who were willing not to depend on men for their pleasure. She is convinced that there is a vaginal orgasm that women can reach through penetration only. She said something quite awful in her book like "women who don't know how to orgasm (sic vaginally) can't achieve something big in their life". This is a bit disturbing for me 'cos after seeing all your videos, I had a different image of female sexuality and orgasms. I believe that the clitoris (which is not only a bump) is also implied in what we call a "vaginal" orgasm and that it's the main way (stimulating the clitoris) to enjoy sex for women.

But still, it's a bit disturbing as I never had a vaginal orgasm up to now and I'm wondering if I'm not missing something huge, maybe better that what I could feel from touching my clit and associating touching the clit + penetration.

I'm not looking for having amazing orgasms because I already enjoy my sex life but I'd like to feel all the pleasure my body can give me, without limitations. And maybe the first step for experiencing something like that is putting a name on it and accepting that it exists.

So, I wanted to know your point of view on this. Do you think vaginal orgasm is still a myth or does it exist for all women? If it does exist, how can we reach it?

Thank you a lot for your answer (and sorry for my average english, I'm french! :) )


Dear S,

Good timing. I just wrote a sex researcher who also believes women should have vaginal orgasms. Yes, there are some women who can have orgasms from vaginal penetration alone, but like I've said many times before, they happen only under very specific circumstances.

For me personally, I needed to be madly in love and we both promised to only have sex with each other. He had to be drop dead handsome with a good sense of humor and a nice big uncircumcised penis (seven and a half to eight inches) that could stay hard for at least 30 minutes while we did slow sensuous fucking. I can count only three lovers who qualified in my long life. So that's why I teach women to combine clitoral stimulation during vaginal penetration. The combination orgasm.

Please tell me the name of the book you referred to that claims vaginal orgasms are the best. The G point as you called it is just VERY indirect clitoral stimulation. The urethral sponge surrounding the urinary tract is erectile tissue that's VERY indirect clitoral stimulation. So I say why bother when our very own phallus is right there easily accessible just waiting for your loving touch with a well-oiled finger or two.

Your English is excellent!
Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time