Dear Dr Betty
For a little background information - I am an 18 year old boy who identifies as gay, and I have a boyfriend who I really love.
Ever since the start of puberty it was clear to me which way I swing. Boys were, and still are, pretty much all what I have sexual feelings for. Whilst I could say a girl was pretty or beautiful, I knew that I much prefered boys. Whilst I can admit to having had a few sexual thoughts involing females, I still had much more feelings of lust and love for boys.
For a while I identified as bisexual, but I knew that if given the choice between boyfriend and girlfriend, I would choose a boyfriend. The little feelings for girls I had left had faded away, all my sexual and romantic thoughts were for boys, and I realised that I am gay.
When I was 17, I found my boyfriend, which to date is probably the best thing I have ever had in my life. Our sex life is good. I'll admit that even when in a relationship, I still had a few fantasies, which always involved other boys - but then again that is what you would expect from a teenage gay boy. My boyfriend admits he has sexual fantasies for other boys too.
But then for some reason in the last few days something unexpected has entered my mind - how gay am I? Every so often, the thought of sex with a female enters my mind, but then I quickly revert to thinking about boys. And then I realistically think - the physical pleasure might be there but it will never turn me on as much as a guy would.
I feel gay. I am gay, but what do you think I am? For so long I knew i was sexually attracted to my own gender, and comfortable with that, and the thought of everything else makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable, yet the "gay or something else" thoughts just randomly started out of the blue.
I think you are sexual and right now it's mostly boys. I just wish teens would be more fluid with these sexual labels. Keep an open mind. It's my opinion that youth is the ideal time to experiment with different kinds of sex. So don't get so set in your ways.
By the time you reach 50, I'd hope you would have had a world of sexual experiences from ho hum to fantastic with girls, boys, your best friends mother and the big dog that lives on the corner. Plus an abundance of dirty fantasies.
Just don't waste too many orgasms on canned Internet porn.