Can't Quite Grasp a Man Fantasizing Over His Woman Being Gang Banged

Wed, 04/16/2014 - 09:34
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I have a sexual fantasy of a gangbang which I have shared with my partner recently. He has made several suggestions that we should put this fantasy into practise. My issue is that although it is my fantasy I am not actually sure what this means I would like to experience this in real life and am not actually sure if I would enjoy this or not.

Plus the other issue I have is can my partner truly respect me if he is prepared to have sex with me along with 5 or 6 other men...I'm having issues with accepting this, maybe it's just my old school mentality...Certainly with age I have become more empowered with sex and able to express myself more freely although I do sometimes still have issues with shyness when discussing certain aspects.

Whilst I can understand that many men would have a sexual fantasy of FMF threesomes I can't quite grasp a man fantasing over his woman being gangbanged......Am I just being old fashioned and blinkered??

Dear J,

You're concerns are quite legitimate. Most fantasies are never acted out. This gives us more freedom to be creative. A few fantasies might be a way to prepare for something we'd like to experience. Sort of like a practice run.

As for you BF getting pleasure from watching you having sex with multiple men, that's not so uncommon. It appears some men can enjoy the idea that his woman is being desired and taken by other guys, but she belongs to him. I'd ask him what he is thinking or feeling with "your" gang bang fantasy.

Finally, it's your fantasy and it would be best to keep it that way. The only way to do this safely would be at some sex party or sex club with many other people around. It is not something to enter into lightly. You might want to keep some of your fantasies to yourself. That's why they are usually just in our minds. Share the ones that would include him. In my mind, a gang bang with my husband or special partner along would screw it up altogether. Sort of like having Daddy along to protect you.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Natural

Fri, 04/18/2014 - 11:56
Diana Lopez (not verified)

In Sex At Dawn, the authors note that  this is the most common fantasy, as well as the most popular genre of porn. Early humans had orgiastic sex. It's natural for your partner to be turned on by him, literally--we're designed to be turned on by it. 

Another Explanation?

Mon, 10/03/2016 - 19:25
DennisH (not verified)

As a man who wants to see his wife take multiple men, I'd like to offer another thought.  Because I love my wife, I'd like her to experience as much of her potential sexuality as possible.  Since women are multi-orgasmic, having multiple partners in a group experience allows them to experience pleasure at a potential intesity that men cannot, due to the "wong-wilt" effect after orgasm.  It's not that I own her...I don't.  But I'm secure enough to know what we have cannot be equaled by another man or men...and I want her to realize the height of her sexual potential.

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