Can Only Orgasm the Way I Did as a Child

Thu, 03/20/2014 - 13:18
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I had my first orgasm in elementary school, as I was trying to climb up a rope. I didn't realize what it was at the time but I remember I knew I liked it, and would sneak back and try to climb up it whenever I could to experience that again. I also did this with poles, and then eventually on a door- I would hold the handles and bring my legs up around the door and do it that way.

Then as I got older, I got a vibrator to try. The only way I could orgasm with that was by doing a pull up, and having the vibrator between my legs. After a lot of practice I was able to orgasm with just the vibrator laying down, but I would have to use the highest setting with a lot of pressure on my clitoris.

I have since then tried using my hand, and have had no luck. I can't orgasm through manual stimulation from my husband, or by oral sex, or by penetration. What should I do? Does it have something to do with controlling muscles-and that's why I can get off when I'm doing something that involves a lot of work? Do you have any sort of positions or advice I should try? I really want to have orgasms either by myself with just my hand or with my husband.

Thank you!

Dear A,

You are on the right track when you said, "After a lot of practice I was able to orgasm with just the vibrator laying down, but I would have to use the highest setting with a lot of pressure on my clitoris."

Now, keep practicing with the vibrator but keep in on the low setting for a while until you want to come, then switch to high. While on the low setting, use some of the masturbation skills I teach. Also include using sexual fantasies to occupy your mind while vibrating. Get my e-book "Orgasms for Two" that discusses how to enjoy partner sex while using your vibrator. I've even included drawings of the best positions to use.

Given your masturbation beginnings with hard pressure, forget about using your hand. It's possible but few will keep at it long enough. Instead master better skills with a vibrator that is often neglected by so many women. It takes more than just slamming a vibrator down on a defenseless clit then demanding she respond. Women are often such lousy lovers for themselves. Cmon girl, go back on the site and educate yourself about female sexuality.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Practice makes perfect. I

Fri, 03/21/2014 - 07:00
Jeffrey65802 (not verified)

Practice makes perfect. I recall growing up my first climaxes were from lying on my tummy grinding my semi-flaccid penis into my palm over my pj's. Eventually that became hand inside directly against, then pj's down into bare palm. But as late at my late teens I was only able to cum in this manner and it became a source of worry. I wasn't masturbating 'the right way.' Until my fling with a galpal of my Mom's resulted in my first partner-sex climax (female-superior vaginal,) I guess I just never had any experience with pleasure in an in-out, up-down fashion. But once I'd cum with her (and she was patient and understanding about my difficulty cumming and didn't stress me out about it or anything,) subsequent climaxes were much easier. Remember the first time I came from 'stroking' - on my back in bed. From then on that was how I masturbated. Have tried once in a while to get off even as an adult, like if too tired to get out of bed and lube up, but I've never gotten close. Ironic. :)

To cum a certain way then, just practice doing so. Once your mind links the pleasure of climax or orgasm to a certain position, or act it becomes a lot easier.

Hey, idk if this will work

Wed, 12/03/2014 - 03:56
thepersianhero (not verified)

Hey, idk if this will work for anyone else but it has for me. For those of you who feel like you're getting close to an orgasm through a different masturbation technique but cant quite get there ..just curl your toes ! The tension you create is similar to the tension felt when squeezing your legs together but your legs can be wide open ! :) I really hope this helps, someone, anyone ! Lol
Good luck!!!

Tension orgasms

Fri, 04/24/2015 - 19:37

ive only been able to have tension orgasms by having my legs completely straight and having clitorious stimulation from my husband which can be a lot of work at times. I prefer being on my stomach and grinding (what I am use to) how do I teach myself to have orgasms through sex and/or with my legs in a normal open posits?!? Please help!!!