Dear Dr. Betty,
Embarrassingly, I didn't really learn to masturbate until just recently, at 33 years old. However, I've since learned that's unfortunately common. I've always been very cerebral, and I'm a die-hard researcher, so I took to reading up on orgasm, and techniques, and just general information. I read that other than clitoral stimulation, a more satisfying orgasm can be achieved with g-spot stimulation.
However, I'm an overweight woman, and actually finding it has proven challenging. Overall, I'm alright with my body image. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not trying to beat myself up change either. I'm comfortable in my skin. I love having solo time. I just would like to get to this "next level", I suppose. I have tried seeing what other larger women do to reach this spot, and it's terribly hard to get the information.
I was hoping you might have suggestions or recommendations. I'm interested in knowing about which toys might help, or techniques if I'm toyless.
Once again, another woman is side tracked from her clitoris by G spot hype. How often do you see the word "clitoris" in print? Some days I think it's a "fucking conspiracy" to keep us from finding our REAL source for orgasms; That's the CLITORIS with it's 8,000 nerve endings. And it's easy to find as it sits right on top of your sex organ.
Even if you "found" the elusive G, there's still no comparison to stimulating your clitoris. At best, the G is very indirect clit stim but so many guys love to hunt for it. Perhaps this is a throwback to cave man days of hunting hairy mammoths. Women who do learn to "ejaculate" admit that it's NOT the same thing as having an orgasm. In my mind why bother unless you want to entertain some guy?
When I asked my friend Debra Sundhal (the "Female Ejaculation" expert) she knew it was not the same as orgasm. It was simply a release of "ejaculate." Then she added, surely I knew that not all ejaculations by men were the same as having an orgasm! Duh! Go tell a man that. So if you want to perform for some dude, then get her book and go hunting.
From my POV nothing can compare to a woman controlling her own clitoral stimulation while Romeo is sweetly thrusting his penis inside her vagina. I'd say those vaginal orgasms should have died out once we stopped living in caves and learned to read. BUT no, we still want to come from Romeos cock. Good luck! Just don't hold your breath.
So my dear researcher, go on our website and get all the information you desire. As for sex toys, there are many that have G spot stimulators. BTW, It's not a spot, it's an area that corresponds to the urinary tract that sits on the other side of the vaginal ceiling. Female ejaculate is basically dilute urine with a bit of prostate fluid. Read my essay on the subject. Also our website offers sex toys. My favorite is the Magic Wand electric vibrator for clitoral stimulation!