Trying to Achieve a G-Spot Orgasm

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 09:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Embarrassingly, I didn't really learn to masturbate until just recently, at 33 years old. However, I've since learned that's unfortunately common. I've always been very cerebral, and I'm a die-hard researcher, so I took to reading up on orgasm, and techniques, and just general information. I read that other than clitoral stimulation, a more satisfying orgasm can be achieved with g-spot stimulation.

However, I'm an overweight woman, and actually finding it has proven challenging. Overall, I'm alright with my body image. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not trying to beat myself up change either. I'm comfortable in my skin. I love having solo time. I just would like to get to this "next level", I suppose. I have tried seeing what other larger women do to reach this spot, and it's terribly hard to get the information.

I was hoping you might have suggestions or recommendations. I'm interested in knowing about which toys might help, or techniques if I'm toyless.

Thank you,

Dear A,

Once again, another woman is side tracked from her clitoris by G spot hype. How often do you see the word "clitoris" in print? Some days I think it's a "fucking conspiracy" to keep us from finding our REAL source for orgasms; That's the CLITORIS with it's 8,000 nerve endings. And it's easy to find as it sits right on top of your sex organ.

Even if you "found" the elusive G, there's still no comparison to stimulating your clitoris. At best, the G is very indirect clit stim but so many guys love to hunt for it. Perhaps this is a throwback to cave man days of hunting hairy mammoths. Women who do learn to "ejaculate" admit that it's NOT the same thing as having an orgasm. In my mind why bother unless you want to entertain some guy?

When I asked my friend Debra Sundhal (the "Female Ejaculation" expert) she knew it was not the same as orgasm. It was simply a release of "ejaculate." Then she added, surely I knew that not all ejaculations by men were the same as having an orgasm! Duh! Go tell a man that. So if you want to perform for some dude, then get her book and go hunting.

From my POV nothing can compare to a woman controlling her own clitoral stimulation while Romeo is sweetly thrusting his penis inside her vagina. I'd say those vaginal orgasms should have died out once we stopped living in caves and learned to read. BUT no, we still want to come from Romeos cock. Good luck! Just don't hold your breath.

So my dear researcher, go on our website and get all the information you desire. As for sex toys, there are many that have G spot stimulators. BTW, It's not a spot, it's an area that corresponds to the urinary tract that sits on the other side of the vaginal ceiling. Female ejaculate is basically dilute urine with a bit of prostate fluid. Read my essay on the subject. Also our website offers sex toys. My favorite is the Magic Wand electric vibrator for clitoral stimulation!

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I Double Betty's Response

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 13:45

Dear A,

I have to give Betty a big fat Second vote in her reply! We women have been bombarded on a whole new reawakening of men trying to get us focused back into believing our main pleasure zone as being the vagina! Why? It's because it works for THEM they get off is from intercourse, and if you are convinced their penis is a magic dick, it takes whatever pressure off of them mentally to think they need to MAKE you come! If you are supposed to come the right way...via G Spot or vaginal Deep Spot - is the new popular spot being touted - during intercourse, then they can blame YOU for not getting off!

It is Victorian or Freudian sabotage at its best. There are hundreds of male sponsored websites on female sexuality - men instructing other men how to pleasure their women with vaginal spots all over the place, guaranteeing them the promise of being called a sex god by their women - if they get it right! No joke, just look at the advertising, it's comical! Naturally guys have to purchase all their tapes, and CDs and go to their and carry advice. And guys are shelling out a fortune for these materials. They will cut off their arms if you will only accept their penis as the be all end all to your orgasm!

Betty is wise in telling you point blank - that is the ONLY FUNCTION of our clitoris - pleasure! The vagina is for reproduction and the expulsion of bodily waste. Can intercourse be pleasurable, yes. Can some women receive indirect stimulation of their inner clitoris, sure. Some ladies swear they have vaginal orgasms all the time, but I am again in agreement with Betty believing it is indirect clit stimulation. I claim one vaginal orgasm ever, and it felt very different, enough that if I had not known about female anatomy, I'd swear it was only my vagina involved what produced it.

Betty calls it as it not buy into the hype!

Penile-vaginal intercourse is obsolete . . . almost!

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 15:56

What a lot of misinformation and bitterness there is! Some of the responses on D&R today show how much damage ignorance does to relationships. Any man paying attention for the last thirty years might be expected to know that intercourse is a poor way for most women to get off, but there's also a lot of conflicting information out there, promoted by porn and by greedy companies trying to make a buck. Look at all the ads designed to make men feel anxious about their penis size, or promising to make them 'last longer'---but why would that be important if most women get so little out of a penis? It's no wonder many men are confused. Learning that the penis isn't very important for most women's pleasure is actually the best news a man could have. It's totally liberating. It's the end of all that performance anxiety that's been dumped on them since they were first misinformed that 'having sex' and 'having intercourse' meant the same thing.

I think there's a strong argument that oral and manual skills are often far more pleasurable and more reliable for both male and female orgasms than intercourse. This is why high-quality, accurate sex education is so important. Girls and boys both need to learn how their bodies typically respond, and then explore sexual pleasure in private. They also need to know the basics about how the other gender tends to respond, and (when age-appropriate) the basics of oral and manual skills that have a good likelihood of being pleasurable for their future partners. Then, when they decide to have intercourse, they won't have any illusions that it's synonymous with 'sex'. They'll just enjoy it as part of the sexual buffet, but for many it won't be the most important or most pleasurable part. And that takes a lot of pressure off both sexes.

A Sample Of Propaganda

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 16:25

You got it, know EXACTLY how men too are being mislead, and I just plucked this bit of Propaganda from a notorious male generated website pushing vaginal orgasm:

Male Moderator:

Every woman can have vaginal orgasms in sex.That may be hard to believe by the 70% of women who don’t, especially the sexually frustrated wives. It may be hard to believe by the men who think they are not big enough or don’t last long enough. But the truth of the matter is that there is no such thing as some women being preordained to have vaginal orgasms and some women being preordained to not have vaginal orgasms. They all can have vaginal orgasms. This included vaginal orgasms in intercourse. It requires knowing what to do.

I receive many emails from sexually frustrated women. Here is one I received -

Dear X,
"I have been married for 16 years and with the same man for 20 years. I am a 36 year old woman who is clitoris dependent in order to have an orgasm. These don’t come very often and lately has began to really frustrate me. I want so desperately to experience those mind shattering vaginal orgasms that your clients talk about! I’ve experienced a couple beginnings of vaginal orgasms but then it stops. What little I’ve felt makes me want more. My sex drive has reverted to that of a teenager now. I was surfing the web trying to find out what I could about the female orgasm when I ran across your site. I had almost reverted to the thought that vaginal orgasms don’t happen. That women on dvd/tv were just faking it. You are right on so many things. Especially about the fact of what we want. We are just afraid to ask for it. I ordered your book on giving women wild screaming orgasms for my husband and myself. I can’t wait to get it!
I want to feel pleasure every time we have sex. I want to experience vaginal orgasms on a regular basis. I hope I’m not being selfish but I want to orgasm every time since he gets to.
Is it too bold for me to tell him that there will be no more sex until he finishes your course?
Can your book help me as a woman?


Male Moderator Response:

You are clitoris dependent from decades of diligent practice. Of course those women on DVDs are faking it. It’s all for show.But I assure you, vaginal orgasms exist. ANY woman can have them.Yes, my program “xxxxxxxxxxxxxx” can help you. Your man must read it cover to cover, and he must listen to each and every CD. And then, in the bedroom, you must do exactly as he says. Surrender to your husband, and trust the material. Look at it this way, if you could do it yourself, you’d have done it a long time ago. I however, and all of my top clients, have collectively given countless women their very first vaginal orgasm in intercourse. Your husband will do the same for you. Don’t get in his way, or yours.

End sample

I mean it any wonder why there is so much confusion? Who knows if this was really a woman writing in rather than a contrived correspondence? I do not know many women saying they are 'clitoris dependent', do you? Notice the heavy slant on purchasing his materials in order to achieve success.....and the promise, vaginal orgasms galore!

I can only yell TRIPE, when tripe is being served! Nauseating and shameful, IMHO. It feels like an assault on my entire sex!

That's amazing, ORS

Wed, 02/12/2014 - 16:40

I wouldn't have believed such a web site existed . . . incredible. And insulting to everyone concerned. 'Wild, screaming orgasms'? Clitoris-dependent? My first reaction was incredulity, then anger at the lies. But no one who'd had high-quality sex education would ever be fooled by such nonsense. It's hard for me to imagine who's buying this guy's products, but then again, ignorance and insecurity can make people do all kinds of things.

I agree that most likely ALL

Sat, 07/18/2015 - 17:07
Charlotte Lydgate (not verified)

I agree that most likely ALL orgasms originate from clitoral stimulation, direct or indirect. However, the only times I have (finally) had some great orgasms was masturbating with the Magic Wand and during partner sex being expertly fingered on my g-spot area....for me the g-spot definitely exists! By the way when using the Magic Wand it only works way to the side of my clit with certain pressure, never on top of it!
Well, I guess, all this proves that every woman is a little different and it helps to experiment and practice.
By the way, I finally got to the elusive big O being 66 years old!