I have been on paxil and lexapro as well as Strattera for ADHD since 4th grade… It has helped me focus and accomplish what I knew I was capable of; I am now at one of the top universities. But I also feel like a sexual socio path…. and get no pleasure from boys and want to get off these medications that have robbed me of a valuable part of my life. I am 20 now, have thigh squeeze masturbated since I was a kid, read a fair amount of erotica, and watch porn, but I don't have a very strong drive to seek out boys.
I always attributed this to "self control" from strattera, and lack of interesting and hot buys. I have always been surrounded by as a liberal artist type in a very conservative culture. But now, I am realizing the problem is deeper, my clit feels nothing when I touch it manually and now even when attractive boys that I like and respect feel like doing stuff with me, I either don't want to or get nothing out of it other than scientific observation of men and sexuality which looks like it is worlds away from anything I have felt in a long time.
I remember a time in early middle school when the guy I like grazed my arm accidentally and I felt a strong cliche "pleasurable burning" and around 8th grade my phone went off by my clot and I felt an intense wave of something…. but I can't imagine feeling anything like this now….. my sister who has never been on medication has orgasms and has had lots of boyfriends. considering how much I liked boys in early childhood, I could probably have been the same way.
I don't believe any 20 year old woman is a "lost" cause, but I really can't add to your list of things that you've tried and didn't work. Of course it's the damn drugs that you think you can't live without. Did the doctor tell you that this med wold help you to focus your brain but it will also interfere with having orgasms? And if she did say that, would you or your parents have listened?
I'm sorry to say your best chance of learning about sexual pleasure would be to deal with your addiction to pharmaceutical drugs. Perhaps the dose can slowly be lowered. Maybe as you get older you can stop altogether. Since you get more pleasant feelings from a boys touch, then get a sweet boyfriend who will not pressure you to "come" so he can prove he's good in bed. Maybe you can find a young man who is on similar drugs.
I'm a strong believer in alternative healing modalities. And as soon as pot is more acceptable and legalized, it might be a blessing to help kids come off these heavy drugs that Big Pharma is pushing on people to keep their profits soaring.
Another thing, since you have pursued some kind of semblance of pleasure for so long, I suggest you check out what you think that might be like? Porn stars are paid to fake pleasure. Romantic love stories exaggerate passion. So whenever you feel anything that might simply be "pleasant" I'd accept that without passing any negative judgements. I'm finding that far too many girls and woman have very exaggerated notions of what sexual pleasure is like or how it will feel.
We need an army of healers to work with all the kids who were put on meds for what? To get better grades? Be easier for the parents to handle? It's a crime against sexuality! Just don't give up altogether but also try not to judge yourself too harshly. When and if you find a solution, please get back to me and become one of our bloggers to help all the billions of people hooked on these nasty heavy but legal drugs. Get a law degree from your "top university" and take these heart less shitheads to court. Be a whistle blower and sue them for robbing you of your sexual sensations to feel orgasmic pleasures and joy! Get mad and force them to change so your future children won't suffer the same fate.