Can I Learn to Orgasm Without Crossing My Legs Together?

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 09:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 29 yo female and have never been able to achieve orgasm with a partner or with my pants off. I started masturbation when I was 4 or 5 by accident. I found if I crossed legs very tightly it felt wonderful and I would eventually orgasm. I had no idea that what I was doing was actually sexual until late in my teens.

Although I am able to get aroused and feel pleasure from sex, this is the only way I have ever been able to achieve orgasm. My husband and previous partners have tried many things and been very patient but nothing , not even vibrators work. My gyn wasn't much help, said everything seemed normal.

Is there any hope that I could learn to have orgasms from other contact or have I hard wired myself to only work this way?

Dear J,

Actually what you've described is rather common. We all have strange sexual habits from lack of knowledge and sex information especially when it comes to female masturbation! Most folks know that men have to masturbate to relieve their sexual urges, but not women. What crap! I'm including a link that deals with this situation. Now you get to learn HOW to masturbate so it can be used in sex with a partner. This will require time and patience to change a long term habit.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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this is my email

Mon, 02/10/2014 - 15:50
worked for me (not verified)

This is the email I sent to Betty some months ago and I am absolutely thrilled  to report that this worked.  Betty is amazing.  I thought the whole thing was hopeless for years but it isn't.  I  no longer depend on a man to "give" me an orgasm and instead figured out what works for me and take it upon myself to be satisfied.  It wasn't just a shift in technique it was also a shift in the way I thought about sex and what my expectations were. It can be changed and it's worth the effort.  

I would love to get the link

Wed, 03/12/2014 - 18:00
annanina (not verified)

I would love to get the link Betty was mentioning in her response, but forgot to add to this post. 

the link

Thu, 03/13/2014 - 07:47
Carlin Ross

the link is included in suggested posts.  Here it is:


Mon, 02/02/2015 - 13:30
GJayle89 (not verified)

Please can I ask what techniques people have tried and what had worked? I am 25 and have only ever managed an orgasm by squeezing my legs together. I read the article you linked but think I need somewhere more specific to begin.

Can I Learn to Orgasm Without Crossing My Legs Together?

Tue, 12/06/2016 - 09:05
Richter (not verified)

my wife had the same issue.
try having sex  facing down (prone) with your legs croosed an with your partner inside your vagina you form behind.
Good Luck.