Dear Dr. Betty,
I am a 29 yo female and have never been able to achieve orgasm with a partner or with my pants off. I started masturbation when I was 4 or 5 by accident. I found if I crossed legs very tightly it felt wonderful and I would eventually orgasm. I had no idea that what I was doing was actually sexual until late in my teens.
Although I am able to get aroused and feel pleasure from sex, this is the only way I have ever been able to achieve orgasm. My husband and previous partners have tried many things and been very patient but nothing , not even vibrators work. My gyn wasn't much help, said everything seemed normal.
Is there any hope that I could learn to have orgasms from other contact or have I hard wired myself to only work this way?
Actually what you've described is rather common. We all have strange sexual habits from lack of knowledge and sex information especially when it comes to female masturbation! Most folks know that men have to masturbate to relieve their sexual urges, but not women. What crap! I'm including a link that deals with this situation. Now you get to learn HOW to masturbate so it can be used in sex with a partner. This will require time and patience to change a long term habit.