Since Webcamming Addicted to Masturbation

Tue, 12/10/2013 - 12:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I've loved your books and philosophy growing up. I found your site in my teens and you changed many preconceived ideas I had about myself. I loosened up on myself and started masturbating. Then I did a report on "Sex for One" in my sexual health class in my freshman year of college and started masturbating more. Yes I dated and enjoyed intercourse with a few guys but was not about to be subjugated by them for my pleasure and so I masturbated for myself. I figure I am one of many students of your teachings raised on and so much appreciating a masturbating, self fulfilling lifestyle. I even think of you sometimes while enjoying another orgasm and thank you for my enlightenment so early in my life that has inspired me to this lifestyle.

I have a question but will tell you the story first since I know you and your readers like stories to humanize the subject and connect with the writer.

I was rooming off-campus with a senior. She made extra money on-line simply doing what she enjoyed, masturbating. I discovered there are so many girls on campus doing this so it is not at all uncommon now. She got me into it, convincing me I could make a lot. I have a swimmers body, I swim and run, and my breasts are ample but firm. I needed the money for books and it seemed like fun in the comfort and safety of our own apartment.

She got me connected with her site gave me advice during my first few sessions- what she had learned and the etiquette and such. She even masturbated along with me but out of site of the camera just to help me feel comfortable about it. She said I was a natural at it- easy to tell I love it and my style tells her I've masturbated a lot. She could tell I was not faking my pleasure and my orgasms. Apparently, some girls have to fake it on these sites having to masturbate so often on-line. Watching me even made her masturbate.

I have to admit, it was gratifying, a bit self-affirming even, to actually see so many guys, even some girls, on the other end having orgasms during each session just from me enjoying myself.

By the time the first check came in, I had worked my way up to 3 to 4 sessions a day. It was several hundred dollars for the month. It was perfect since the swim season was over and I needed something anyway to keep me busy and fit. I was getting paid to do what I enjoy.

The following semester I arranged my classes to give me more time in between to masturbate. I was able increase my sessions to 5 to 6 a day, some together with my roommate. We made much more money masturbating together and I found the experience energizing. It helped me cum strong and want it even more. It also increased my orgasms. Half way into the semester I was having multiple orgasms and even started squirting. I had never experienced anything so pleasurable and releasing.

I worked my way through all 4 years of college this way. After graduation I got a job and eventually my own condo and I figured it was time to end my masturbation sessions and get serious. I was in the real world now and ladies don't act like that!

After 4 years of such intense conditioning of my body, it was difficult to cut back. I cut back enough to work around the typical working schedule. However, I still have to masturbate so badly before and after work and then at bedtime. A few times, when the office was empty during lunch, I quietly masturbated at my desk. I found it is good to have a Depends around in those occasions for when I need to squirt.

I have gone through several boyfriends who, when they found out about my masturbation lifestyle, got freaked out. I have tried to meet guys on various sex sites who are more open minded and into masturbation also but they have all turned out weird or completely different than their profiles. Several were even married. I have dated a few girls since and, for some reason, they don't seem to mind and even encourage me. I really enjoy intercourse though and the company of a guy sometimes and wish there could be a more open minded supporting guy out there.

What do you suggest? Should I repress my needs or should I hide my true self from boyfriends? Is there a way or timing to opening up to a guy about this sort of lifestyle or need? Perhaps I should empty my closet of so many toys?

Dear S,

Rather than calling it "hiding my true self" think of it as not coming on too strong. Give a guy some time with you before "telling all" about your consistent pattern of masturbating. Best would be finding a "like-minded" man who would join you in your self-pleasuring, BUT not all the time many times a day! That borders on an obsession.

I suspect you are basically having fast tension orgasms as a result of the frequency that you've described. Instead of so many quickies, I suggest you experiment with spending more time to prolong the session while exploring your body. Stretch it out by edging, coming close to a climax then pulling back to let the pleasurable sensations grow more intense.

The fact that you are squirting suggests that you bearing down with your pelvic floor muscle instead of squeezing it by pulling up. Squirting is mostly for a guys entertainment and although many women have told me it feels good, they all agree it's NOT the same thing as having an orgasm.

So go on the website and read my description of what I call "The Rock 'n Roll Orgasm that uses your breathe, pelvic rocking and using the PC muscle.
I suspect that once you deepen your experience of orgasms with yourself, you will not feel the desire or need to do it so frequently. What you have described sounds a bit like scratching a sexual itch instead of having a nice slow full body orgasm.

Those quickies are a bit like "fast food" which means lacking nutrition. I think our orgasms can be similar when they are all "fast comes." So slow down girl, and stretch out those pleasurable sensations and stop racking up numbers. It's not about how many or how fast but how satisfying an orgasm can be.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Keep looking S, I am sure you will find a 'supporting' guy

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 05:54

S there are many guys who masturbate as much as you do, so keep looking and as Betty said find 'a "like-minded" man who would join you in your self-pleasuring'.  Perhaps you should look for a guy who is a voyeur so he will enjoy just watching you, as I would   Additionally, as Betty said 'Give a guy some time with you before "telling all" about your consistent pattern of masturbating.'. Gradually let him know that you have a high sex drive.  Mention Betty's website to him before you tell him about your masturbation, to get him used to the idea of women masturbating, as many people think that masturbation is a man only hobby.  Reassure him that you enjoy intercourse but that you like to masturbate too.  Encourage him to watch you, I am sure he will love that, and suggest that you masturbate together.

Maybe your previous boyfriends 'freaked out' because they realised that they could not keep up with your sexually and it hurt their ego.

Good luck in finding a 'supporting' guy and continue to enjoy your masturbation.

Your Masturbation Story

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 08:39
Dors (not verified)

God, I wish I could find a woman like you who is free about masturbation and loves doing it. Every woman I have been with almost views it as a perversion and seem to think because I enjoy masturbating, looking at erotica while I do it, that somehow I am cheating on them.  

I don't see what the problem

Wed, 12/11/2013 - 16:39

I don't see what the problem is. Just being it up casually if the discussion is ever up. Own it. Leave no room for others to criticize. You are who you are. It's not really any of their buisiness, anyway.

Be patient, you are still so young.

Sat, 12/14/2013 - 14:32
Marti B (not verified)


Betty is so right. Slow down and focus more on quality and style than frequency.

I would not call it an obsession. Like any biological need, some just need this or that more than others sometimes. Yours happens to be your orgasm. You are lucky to have started so early and so often, as you will never have to worry about reaching orgasm and it will reward you all of your life.
However, opportunity nd support is not there yet for you like you need.  You are still so young and will meet so many wonderful guys and girls who will enjoy and support your needs.  Trust me, I had gone through many partners before I finally started meeting what I would consider my soul mates, and that was not until I was in my 30s. It was all uphill from there.  I had even been through one marriage by then.

In the mean time, focus on yor orgasm, try using those barbells, try a body sex workshop, slow down and make it last longer.  You may consider some clubs and group gatherings in your area with this common interest. I have ventured to a few and have made some surprisingly nice, open minded friends who share my love of masturbation and mutual sexual interests. Although many are for the older set, 35-45 age range, I have found some much younger gentlemen there on occasion, all open minded, non-judgmental.
I didn't think masturbation could get any better... and then I turned 40.

So hang. Many good things to cum ;o)

Follow the Money

Sun, 12/15/2013 - 13:00
LT (not verified)

Betty and Carlin,
You only address the technical aspects of this story.  What about the economics. The story is about a woman a woman who masturbated numerous times per day because she got paid for it.
What type of payment scheme was involved in terms of her payment vs. what the customer paid?

Who paid her and what were the conditions of employment?

What type of company and industry were involved?

What if she had been injured during her employment - either physically or as a result of hacking her electronics? What protections did she have?

I think it's irresponsible of you to ignore the context of this post and just deal with the technical elements of masturbation.

Thanks for the comments- much better now

Sun, 01/12/2014 - 14:46
Sherry J (not verified)


I  so much appreciate the support and concerns from everyone. It really helped me through a tough time.

On the working arrangement. LT was worried for me about. I worked as an “independent contractor” as do most who do this kind of thing. Most will usually have an arrangement with several sites, to make it worth the effort and time. We are responsible for ourselves and are not at all forced by the site of business we contract with.  I always felt safe. In the presence of my own room with my own toys, there is little risk. I can always terminate a viewer if he gets perverted or nasty.  Once it’s over, I can dress then head to the library or to class, leaving it behind me. It’s good work in that respect.

But some days are better than others. Some days I can’t wait to get back to my webcam, get naked and try something. Other days I am not so excited and it’s more like work. When you are just starting out, it can be hard but you find your body becomes conditioned and then you’re enjoying and even craving it.

I try to avoid doing it when I would have to force myself or fake it. I'm not good at acting. Not good for me or for the viewers. I prefer to do it when I want and for the pleasure and excitement of it. Then, the money is really just a bonus, icing.

I'm really doubly blessed.  With your encouragement I kept searching and have been able to find not one but two wonderful people who are open minded and who truly understand and support needs. They are a slightly older couple who are both avid masturbators. I met them through webcam as they both do what I was doing. They invited me into their home until I get myself established. It's so refreshing and uplifting coming home and, rather than hiding it, indulging in it with him or with her. We eat well, excercise and masturbate. They are so encouraging of my orgasms an dmy health.



Fri, 05/09/2014 - 22:17
ian (not verified)

it was so great to read of your dilemma, because as a man, i have had similar challenges finding partners and friends open to a masturbation lifestyle. so where have you been my whole life?  i think you maybe you describe the perfect life: eating well, exercising and masturbating!!  anyway, i wish you the best and appreciate the inspiration.

New masturbation stories here

Thu, 10/02/2014 - 04:57
robinrezakhan (not verified)

Its really a nice post.I hope its makes your life pleasure.
masturbation stories

Thx for the story, i feel normal now

Sun, 10/19/2014 - 01:08
james s (not verified)

I was relieved to read this story and the responses. I had a similar experience and it got me into a masturbating lifestyle. A story of the internet generations like myself and how masturbation has evolved into a lifestyle.
I was never much into masturbation- too self concious and thought of myself as above it. For me, online sex (webcam) with my girlfriend whenever we were apart got me comfortable touching my own cock and masturbating myself. I could feel the need inside me begin to grow.

I actually didn't think of it as masturbation at the time, but after a while i got to really like online sex. We parted ways after college and began dating online each evening, usually ending webcam sex. If it clicked, we would go out in person but that was rare, maybe 1 in 25 online dates. Many were married, just after sex, or not who they said they were. The great thing though about online dating is that you can date several in one evening so it's easy to get to 25 in a week. Kept me pretty busy.

This opened my mind- finally got me curious about masturbation and how other guys enjoyed it. I hooked up with another guy online and found it very satisfying. He was so supportive and introduced me to his large circle friends- straight guys like me who help and watch each other masturbate via webcam any hour of the day or night.  We encourage each other. This helped bring my masturbation out of the shadows of the evening and into the better part of my day, any time.  It also taught me a lot about my own cock and introduced me to devices to increase my pleasure.

It was only then I saw it as masturbation and admitted how important it was for me; How much I loved to feel and see myself ejaculating and feel my hand stroking my shaft while I'm getting there. Nothing feels as good as my own hand. What's more, I don't feel alone or abnormal. This is so common now. So it was no big deal the first time I stroked another cock and made him cum.

I've been living and enjoying a masturbating lifestyle for a couple years now. I still date but not a day goes by when I'm not masturbating online with a guy friend two, three, sometimes four times a day. It's our hobby and our joy, not an addiction.

Now, reflecting back, wish i understood my own body and needs earlier. I had denied myself and so denied my body what it so craved. I'm just grateful I discovered it at age 25 and not 45 or 55 like so many others I masturbate online with.
I would love to hear more personal journies like this.