I Have No Idea How to Fantasize

Sat, 12/07/2013 - 09:18
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have no idea how to fantasize. Ive been trying and nothing comes to mind. Any ideas how to ? One thing that turns me on and leads to orgasm is watching porn where a woman with large breasts bouncing and hearing her "have pleasure". I cant orgasm without porn like I use to when i was younger.

I remember just focusing on the noise and sensations my body was making. Than when I married my husband introduced me to porn, which I watched occasionally/rarely. I divorced and began dating a guy who was a porn/sex addict, i became one too and since then cant orgasm without porn. Do I give up porn completely to allow my mind to get back into my body? In the meantime do I not masturbate for a long time till my brain is rewired?

Dear H,

Fantasy is at the heart of the creative process. It begins by using your imagination. Like making a good meal or picking out a smart outfit or decorating a room. Start by imaging a fantasy lover or an ideal sexual encounter. Read erotic stories and supply your own images. In other words be creative instead of consuming canned images of porn. After all, porn is basically entertainment for sex starved men.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Women who cant orgasm without porn.

Sun, 12/08/2013 - 14:16
NOHARD (not verified)

Hi H, I think you should try the same info I give to men, try this, No masturbating or any sexual contact for 8 weeks, and no porn, what your going to do is reboot your body by doing this, the body is a great healer if you let it, and this is the way forward for you.

After the 8 weeks see what happens when you masturbate, see if theres any feeling, if there is, then this is the way it should be, you should not need to fantasize to get an orgasm, you may need to do that to feel sexy then let your fingers do the rest, or you sex toy.

Try it see how you go, but it must be the full 8 weeks, do less and you cheating yourself.

Good Luck

thank you for the input about

Wed, 12/18/2013 - 16:34
serendipitylover31 (not verified)

thank you for the input about 8 weeks. Thats sounds really hard to do, ill try but im horny even as i type this. I am single mom with twins, and its such a nice stress reliever too and I feel even giddy after it. I just learned how to orgasm with a vibrator so its been an accomplishment in decreasing my inhibitions and leading me to having a fullfilling sexual life with a partner in the future.