You Should be More Sensitive to Circumcised Men

Mon, 11/25/2013 - 08:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I would like to start first by writing that I believe the Fountain of Youth must be somewhere in New York, you always look so radiant and young in your videos. Carlin is also so young and beautiful as well. You two are wonderful together.

I have a couple of reasons of why I am writing you. The first is a male's point of view of the results of your Body Work Shop. This is the first anniversary of my wife's visit to your "Body Sex Workshop" last November; she came back a different person in the most positive way possible. She was glowing and has only gotten brighter as each day passes. She is more confident and has expressed an interest in starting her own classes here in Ontario Canada. She just needs to find the women that are willing to experience the sensations. I thank the universe for you and Carlin and the fantastic work you do.

Your video regarding circumcision caught my attention and actually hurt me. I was circumcised at birth and knowing nothing else thought nothing of it...of course. My wife and I met when we were eleven years old became good friends which turned into sexual exploration which in turn resulted in a very young marriage. Barely turning sixteen we found ourselves at the alter. There was a child coming but it wasn't a "shotgun wedding" I personally wanted to marry the love of my life and in March we will be celebrating our thirty sixth anniversary. We have had three beautiful sons. Our oldest was not circumcised but under pressure from both my mother and father the two youngest boys were. Not because of religion but because I was told it would prevent them from getting infections. I spent quite a few sleepless nights worrying about my oldest son but he is a healthy young man now with three children of his own. My two youngest are also healthy young men, our middle boy also with three children.

We've had our ups and downs but I've been extremely happy both sexually and emotionally. My wife not so much she has always wanted more which I understand and support completely. I have never been interested in being with anyone else but her. By most of the things I have read and watched on your site I am not a normal male human, which I find both interesting and puzzling. But that is a topic for another time.

Back to the video. Like I wrote earlier my wife and I started having sex early we were both virgins. Within the first few weeks of our new adventures I was able to make her orgasm vaginally with my circumcised penis. What I found hurtful and disappointing is that the two most beautiful sex experts that I know were saying how mutilated and basically useless a circumcised penis would be to them and women in general. I wasn't able to finish watching the video and now I can't find it so that I can.

I don't want to sound negative; your site is very important to everyone that you have been able to touch but you and Carlin should try to be more sensitive to what you say and write. I will be fifty two years old in December. I have been with only one human being. I am very happy with her and very happy that she feels free to talk to me about her wants and needs. I have watched her have sex with other men and women but I still have no desire to explore that route myself. She has had multiple orgasms with the aid of my penis and other parts, she won't let me get away with not exploring. I have never thought of "cheating" on her and I have no urge to control her life. I just thank the Universe that I have her in my life and that she has you and Carlin in her's.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant and I look forward to reading your reply.

Best wishes and love,

S

Dear S,

I hear you! In our enthusiasm to reach mothers about to have babies we most likely over did it again. We sometimes lose track of how many ears are listening while we are just in a casual conversation with nothing scripted.

So your comment is very valuable and we will pay attention.

The other comment we got broke us up:"Two dirty dyke feminists liberals."

In the future, Carlin and I will make an effort to always include men who are circumcised at birth and had no choice. Also to be aware of mothers who were not informed as so few are and the last excuse usually is: "I wanted him to look like his father." That's a self perpetuating loop that will never allow change.

At the end of the YouTube I do talk about my young lover who was circumcised and also a beautiful sex partner that I thoroughly enjoyed for 10 years. I'm sorry you didn't hear that part.

I loved the feedback about your wife after her Bodysex workshop. What good news. You're a hellova guy and I honor your feedback.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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An intactivist who grants a lot of what S says

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 12:46

It is very important to understand that the effects of infant circumcision on adult sexuality vary a lot: by male, by his partners, and by his stage in the life cycle. And that some drawbacks of circumcision can be overcome with some lube and attention to sexual details. American circumcision is tragic because it ruins SOME sex, not ALL.
I disagree with all use of the verb "to mutilate" when discussing circumcision. Millions of circumcised men are completely normal in their desires and activities. Please do understand, though, that some circumcised men are tragically damaged. And that some women have used social media to reveal that they find intact men more enjoyable. And I trust you appreciate that the circumcision of American babies must come to an end, and the sooner the better. Mother Nature deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Thank you

Mon, 09/21/2015 - 13:37
Markmark (not verified)

I found your website through a link on a foreskin restoration thread and was immediately delighted at the fact that here was a site dealing with sex that actually takes this awful practice done to men, without their consent, seriously.

Thank you! It means a lot to me.

Most media do not care of our plight. Religious groups dare to speak of "feeling offended" when one does and many get upset that some men try to comment on circumcision when only FGM is considered a problem. They heartlessly get so caught up in definitions, they overlook the prospect that many of us simply feel violated and powerless. Just like when we were tied down, now we are told to shut up too. We swallow and try to get on with our lives, but the hurt gnaws away through every part of our being. Every day and hour - it is never far. We long to feel whole.

The good thing about forums is discovering that your own experiences and thoughts are so similar. For example, when I was a small boy and learnt early how to live in denial, how to ignore my body and my feelings, there was one word that would send a sharp ripple. I could never let this word run over my lips: circumcision. On the foreskin restoration forum I found others who had this too. For me it is easier to call myself mutilated than circumcised. The 'c' word is for many a pseudo-medical euphemism that is meant to validate the practice. It is the language of mutilators (incl. of my intact mother and father), regardless out of religious, psychological (the abused abuses out of rage or denial) or commercial reasons. It is an incredibly graphic word - the cut that goes - all -  the way round. I was done in 1970 - no anaesthetics then. My parents were and are Christian puritans, obsessed with sex, masturbation and "the sins of the flesh". I am an atheist, intensely revolted that such crazy people came anywhere near my private parts. I feel enormous disgust, to the point of wanting to vomit, I feel pain and anger. And hopelessness. Yet I try stay positive. Ever since my frustrating sex with my ex, I have stayed single with one hope: my restoration with allow me to one day be in a relationship where I can feel one with her, that I won't feel like I am looking through a window from outside at our act. But that we will share an intimacy my parents tried to steal from me.
I don't speak to them anymore. If ever there was a reason against this for self-centered "its my decision" parents it's this: he may hate you for it and when you're old and gray, he wont have the guts to answer your emails anymore because he is no longer prepared to be hurt by you and your stupid callousness.

I say I am mutilated, because that word suggests a sense of humanity, of wrong-doing. I wouldn't say it to a loved one, because I don't want them to feel sorry for me.

I wish this irrational abuse would come to an end.

Thank you for reading.

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