I Feel a Pressure & Fullness but No Pleasure

Tue, 10/15/2013 - 07:56
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi, Dr. Dodson,

I'm a big fan and supporter. I'm 25, and recently discovered I'm a bisexual male. I'm very curious to experiment with methods of anal stimulation. I've tried penetration with a finger, without lube, and I didn't get anything out of it. No pain or bleeding, I actually managed to push my whole index finger in. But it doesn't feel good. It feels weird, like I need to empty my bowels even when I know I'm empty. I feel a pressure and fullness, but no pleasure. Is it just a lack of lube that is the issue? I've been told by a friend with experience that I ought to use two fingers, if one isn't doing anything.

I haven't tried that yet, but I'm thinking about it. I feel a lot of "something" in my anus when I masturbate, kind of like a nervous excitement and a need for something in my anus. I really would love to let a guy penetrate me with his penis, but I haven't gotten the chance yet. I'm a little nervous about fitting a penis inside me. Due to an old hand injury, my right hand isn't useful for masturbation or anal fingering, so I do everything with my left. I was thinking that if I am able to find my prostate, I might be able to cum without stimulating my penis.

Is that a good idea? Am I missing something? Do I need lube for sure, or is saliva sufficient? Any advice you can give, I will be very appreciative. Thank you for your time.

Dear J,

Interesting to note that your questions mirror a girl who hasn't done vaginal penetration. Always use an organic lube. No penetration until you get turned on first. Be halfway to an orgasm before putting a finger inside any virginal orifice. The anus and vagina are asleep without clitoris or penis stimulation WITH ADDITIONAL LUBE for both.

I had to laugh when I read: "I was thinking that if I am able to find my prostate, I might be able to cum without stimulating my penis." What's with this notion that penetration is the be all end all of sex? It's best tor the pitcher doing the penetrating. Unless a catcher is simulating his own penis, he's just a receptacle. So few can come from penetration alone but everyone wants to try! Are we all doomed to be romantic junkies who want to come from Romeos cock? Grow the fuck up people. Prostates and G spots will never top glans penis or the clitoral glans when it comes to providing our best orgasms.

Before getting fucked (actually or figuratively) learn to relax your anal sphincters by using the pelvic floor muscles. . .squeeze and release. Read my description of the rock and roll orgasm. Also using your breathe to let the muscles go. And most important, practicing penetration during your masturbation sessions is a must.

Dr.Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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"Are we all doomed to be

Tue, 10/15/2013 - 15:35
Elin A (not verified)

"Are we all doomed to be romantic junkies who want to come from Romeos cock? Grow the fuck up people."

So funny! 

differing opinion SORT OF LOL!

Sun, 01/26/2014 - 19:24

Dude, I have had that illusive none penis touching orgasm a  few times or more. I will say that I am pretty horny when it happens before even getting something ready. Next be prepared as in a recent BM and or well that is it. Natural or induced. Then as stated LUBE. Never too much. Not Vaseline. And yes there is a certain amount of fullness feel but if whatever you use go slow and the prostate in towards your navel so tip in that direction. That is why many of the toys are angled tipped for that. I have used a dildo of the wifes with a suction cup base and am amazed at what will go in with little problems in regards to size compared to most. I often joke about looking for missing items around the house as I may have accidently sat on them. She said yes that is a possibilty! But when I get going with it being hit on the strokes it has induced a pretty intense and yet a little different type of orgasm. Not the pronounced spasms but one longer one that produces smaller spasms but often more ejaculate. Sometimes I am erect and sometimes not which I found odd as well. Wife bought me a prostate messager of decent girth at the bulbous part and I have had a few orgasms with it. I only need to have it in and rock back and forth. I can lay down or sit up. Once or twice I have even worn it for a period while working in my wood shop before allowing myself to finish. I like to prolong the build up. As I am getting older I have become , less in a hurry to arrive myself. I always wanted to be the last one to "go" anyway. But now I will start a half hour or so before me and my wife get together!  The anticipation is fun now. She I laugh is more like a guy. Get me there as I love the arrival she says. And we can cuddle afterwards. She can go either clitoris or penetration if I go long enough. As in 5 minutes of getting after it. Otherwise I enlist mr buzzer! Or Mister Naughty as we named he 7 in silicone friend. ANYWAY have fun. Experiment and use plenty of lube. And I think Dr Betty is right as well. Mr Majic Cock is a dream we all want. Either to own to provide enjoyment or to experience ourselves. I think for us guys we attach identity to it. Without it we are mouth only. And a woman with a mouth can do that for another woman. So what would they need us for? And if you have seen some of the toys NOW we better be nicer  or we will be unemployed.

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