Are My Meds Blocking My Orgasms?

Mon, 10/21/2013 - 11:55
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am a 51 year old female who successfully masturbated with orgasms for many, many years. Over the last 11 years, I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, anxiety disorder and depression. I was also involved in an unhealthy relationship with a controlling, selfish, and manipulative woman. While I understand your position with respect to anti-depressants, going off my meds at this time is not an option. I am under the care of a psychiatrist and caring therapists who have helped me work through a lifetime of issues.

I am currently involved with an amazing, loving and caring woman; and while I am very attracted to her, I am unable to reach orgasm when we are making love. I do not experience even the most basic physiological reactions. I understand that the side effects of many of my meds are contributing to this issue, but I also wonder if it is more than the meds.

Could this also be due to the psychological trauma I’ve experienced? If yes, what suggestions do you have for me to work though the problems I’m experiencing? My partner and I are committed to making this work for both of us.


Dear J,

I'm sorry but you have made a pact with these professionals and have clearly stated that coming off your meds is not an option. So you have sacrificed your orgasms to feel numb? Or less pain? Or to eliminate anxiety only to loose your ability to enjoy orgasms?

Now that's really depressing!

The only thing I can recommend is to get the Magic Wand electric vibrator and hope that the strong vibes will convey signals from your clitoris to the pleasure center in your brain. The problem with anti-depressant meds is they block the build-up of pleasure just like they block obsessive negative thoughts.

So how come your psychiatrist or caring therapists who "helped you work through a lifetime of issues" can't help you with your sexual dilemma? They solve one set of problems but then add their own due to the medication they proscribe. What's wrong with this picture? It seems to me that if the pharmaceutical companies and medical professionals have their way, we will soon be a nation of numbed out zombies. What happened to the concept of "No pain, no gain"? Life is a "psychological trauma" so welcome to reality. Meanwhile, sexual pleasure can be the antidote so enjoy your new positive love affair with or without orgasms.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Tue, 10/22/2013 - 08:58

I have been on anti-depressants for 15yrs now. My sex drive is 40% what it used to be. I have aspergers sydrome.At the age of 48yrs old  i've never had a girlfriend and sex which adds to my depression.They don't see the real person inside, just the bank balance, social status, big career etc. It is a self fullfilling prophecy.

I can only imagine how

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 09:47
lsjb (not verified)

I can only imagine how isolating and sad it must be  for you.  People with Asperger's are often high functioning, as you seem to be, in all parts of life but for the social and itimate aspects.  You might want, even at your age, to work with someone who understands the kinds of skills you need to learn ie/ reading social cues, developing and expressing empathy, making eye contact, body language.  There are some interesting books on the main market these days for this kind of information. Google them.
Also Betty's videos can specifically show you how to give a woman pleasure.  When you have comfort knowing you can do that, it might not be so difficult to find a partner who can "teach" how to receive as well as give pleasure. And your depression might lift too.

psychological trauma

Tue, 10/22/2013 - 13:07

Life is a "psychological trauma" so welcome to reality.

Never were truer words spoken.

I can talk and make

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 09:18

I can talk and make conversation a lot better than when I was a 19yr old at college doing A- levels and had a very painful rejection from a girl. I held the door open for Tania then she held the door open for me. This was back in Jan 1985 then little did I know she was using me to make another boy jealous. They were kissing at the bus stop after Valentines day which I absolutely hate after that. He was an ugly boy as well but had the social skills so it was like taking candy from a baby. A year later she was in the pub kissing her ex-jailboy lover.
I am better at body language, eye contact. Could have done with this knowledge back in 1985 when I should have been having fun with girls but was socially isolated.
Now on dating sites, I find I am to old. Women don't show any interest in me apart from some old grannies and  women to old. I want to meet someone sexy and attractive. I have never had this but all I find is dating sites using every trick in the book to get your money. In life women don't turn up ever apart from a few married or women in relationships who are out of bounds anyway.
I don't think videos will help like real experience but getting that experience is impossible let alone a meaningful relationship. I know that I will end up a pensioner suicide statistic in the future. People don't understand just how difficult it is for me where it is so easy for others. I am glad that there are some people out there who do listen to me.

Robin try OKcupid

Wed, 10/23/2013 - 09:33

Robin try OKcupid, it is free and you can fill out a long profile.  If you look for someone who has also filled out a long profile then you are unlikely to be scammed.

Should I lie about my age.

Thu, 10/24/2013 - 08:43

Should I lie about my age. Being honest has never worked for me before. People at the gym are suprised when they hear my age and they think i'm in my 30s.