I Have Very Little Feeling in My Clitoris

Wed, 05/22/2013 - 08:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'm a 28 year old female and to get right to the point I have very little feeling "down there". I can sit and fondue and finger myself for hours and feel as calm as I would watching golf. Even when applying pressure to my clitoris or internally to what i think is my gspot. Nothing. I can have and have had two types of orgasms. One with a powerful vibrator directly in my clitoris. I own the hitachi and have to use it on high and even then sometimes it's hit or miss. The second way was with a partner who was fingering me quite roughly and actually caused me to "squirt" or in these three cases flood.

The strange part with this type of orgasms is I feel no sexual release or anything just pressure then poof very very wet. I honestly think I broke my vagina somewhere along the way because its just so odd. I've asked my obgyn she says it's normal but I don't think she truly understood what I was trying to say. The one other thing I should not is that I have no labia minora, they just aren't there. Any advice or help u might be able to provide would be amazing.

Thanks, A

Dear A,

You are abusing your clitoris and vagina by demanding some kind of instant response and using the Magic Wand on High directly on your clitoris. STOP IT! Or letting some guy hurt you in his ego driven drive to "make you squirt" which as you discovered is NOT the same feeling as having an orgasm. More respect shown to your clitoris and vagina will go a long way.

First of all name your sex organ correctly. It's not "down there' which shows a lack of understanding unbecoming a 28 year old woman. I'm including a few links for you so you can begin your sex education. Like you, most medical professionals do not get any sex information least of all when it comes to orgasms and pleasure. Also small to no inner lips while unusual does not mean anything is wrong with you. Time to educate yourself to become the sexual woman you deserve to be.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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gentle massage

Thu, 05/23/2013 - 18:01

Dear A, I am a 19 year old female and if I massaged my clit with a vibrator on high it would be numb too. You cant expect a man or anyone else to "give" you an orgasm. You have to know your body to enjoy pleasure. I have the magic wand but I dont enjoy clit stimulation with it...its too rough. My friend on the other hand cant get enough of the highest setting. Everyone's bodies are different. Intense massage does not always equal intense response. What works well for me a lot of the time is tons of lube (i use coconut oil and love it) and gentle massage of my entire vulva. When i focus on my clit my finger is barely touches it but it drives me wild. It feels similar to oral sex. The light touch of a tongue is one of the only ways many women can orgasm during partner sex. I would suggest relaxing with your vulva and lube even if you think you don't need it! My vagina is a fountain but lube enhances the experience every time. Get comfy and enjoy your beautiful body without expecting results (too much pressure)! ALSO I squirt too and it can feel nice but there is so much more! Don't look at sex through a male lense (ejaculation=orgasm) its too narrow! Appreciate your body. There is no magic formula. You are not a machine. -with love and solidarity

Small correction about male orgasm

Thu, 05/23/2013 - 20:53

Aldei, your comments make a lot of sense to me and I'm sure they will be helpful. I would add, though, that ejaculation is not identical with orgasm in men either. While they do typically go together in adult males, they are distinct events. Men can have 'dry' but intense orgasms, and can ejaculate without necessarily having much sensation.

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