Hours of Fun = Hours of Ouch

Fri, 05/17/2013 - 08:40
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I have noticed that the first few times I'm with a new person we spend A LOT of time being sexy together. Like hours in a row. This seems normal because we're getting to know each other's bodies and it's super exciting. But if this new-sexy-getting-to-know-each-other-for-hours-night involves hours of different types of vaginal fingering or other penetration it always means my vagina and vulva are sore for the next day or couple of days.

This happens whether or not anything painful happens while being sexual, and regardless of lube usage. It also happens even though I'm regularly sexual with my primary partner and other people. It's also been true ever since I started being sexual with others, about 10 yrs ago. I mostly don't have penial vaginal intercourse with anyone except my partner, so usually there's nothing bigger than a couple of fingers on those nights.

I really like spending hours being sexually intimate with someone, but not if it makes me hurt the next day. Is there something I can do to help relieve the pain? And in the long run should I be doing any type of exercises to help strengthen my pussy?

Dear L,

If using lots of lubrication didn't work then I can only speculate the guy doing the fingering is not aware of how rough he's being. Especially if he's inside your vagina banging away on what we call the G-spot which isn't a spot but rather part of the internal clitoris. It's VERY indirect clit stim. Until you solve the pain problem cut back on vigorous vaginal stimulation until you figure this out.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Betty has a point. If he's

Sun, 05/19/2013 - 01:22
D_anonymous (not verified)

Betty has a point. If he's banging away being rough with you then maybe half the cure is more direct clit stim.
Personally I've noticed that keeping things cleaner actually makes me less sore later. By that I mean cleaning up my downtown (especially the perineum) after sex or between times. If keeping a container of moist wipes in the nightstand keeps you from getting sore the next day...totally worth it.
Other things that help with soreness include:
1) Using damp wash cloth as a cold/ hot compress afterward. Alternate water temperature of the cloth to reduce inflammation and kill excess bacteria.
2) If its really bad, sitting on an ice pack can help by temporarily numbing the vulva.
3) I use an herbal salve with yarrow in it that I buy on Etsy.com
Yarrow is amazing. After sex I shower, apply some, slap a panty liner in a comfy pair of skivvies and I'm good to go.

If you can't get a guy to clean his fingernails and hands thoroughly first, then I would suggest talking him into using a latex glove. It doesn't sound super hot, but those gloves really do feel very smooth. Try with a little lube see where it gets you. ;)

Latex problem?

Mon, 05/20/2013 - 18:39
Anonymous000 (not verified)

Hi, just wanted to suggest that if L is using any kind of latex barriers for sex, that could be causing the problem.  She might have a mild latex allergy, like I do.  I used to be very sore after penetrative sex, for a day or two afterward, but as soon as I switched to latex-free condoms, the soreness disappeared!