My New Lover Keeps Popping Out During Sex

Sat, 04/13/2013 - 11:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm having a problem with my new lover's cock popping out during sex. He's bigger than average and I haven't had this problem before, except sometimes with my husband who is also a little thicker. But the amount it happens with him would be comical if it wasn't so frustrating. It seems to be a particular issue with me on top, which is my favorite position, especially when I like to lean forward and grind my clit on his pubic bone. The two things many lovers have commented on is that I'm very wet and tight.

I don't buy into any of the BS about tightness and know the vagina is a muscle, etc, but maybe I am naturally smaller and/or have strong PC muscles and this is contributing? Sometimes I also have trouble getting him in, like his cock doesn't want to go in at all. This is when I'm very turned on and we have been fooling around for quite a while and I am craving penetration, so I don't feel like the problem is as much that I am 'closed up' as that he doesn't seem to be as hard as other guys I've been with, even when he thinks he's really hard.

Any thought or ideas you have would be much appreciated. I love your website and have found tons of useful information on it!

Cheers, E

Dear E,

I'd say this has more to do with you than him. Observe how you are using your pelvic floor muscle. If you bear down yes, you will push him out. Also the angle of your body is a big part of it. When you flatten down on top of him to grind, it's a not a good position for him to maintain penetration. Instead simply stay more upright and stimulate your own clitoris with your hand. Right after you've had sex, it's a great practice to talk about what you liked, what felt really great and what you would like to try the next time. Most of these problems would go away if lovers just talked more about what's happening and what else they would like to try next time.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time