Dear Betty and Ross.
First of all I would like to say that I love you both. For your work and honesty about a subject so deeply covered with lies and misconceptions and at the same time so intrinsic of human nature.
If this letter should have a title, I think this one is appropriate: "Men are all about their dicks…"
Yes I am. Let me explain by telling a little bit about myself.
I am a Brazilian male 30yo, married, no kids.
I'm recently married but we've been together for 12 years now. Sounds crazy I know and it is a little. But she is the best person I know and I still love her very much.
Sex with her is great, I introduced and encourage her to many things like: vibrators, masturbation, rough sex, etc. She enjoys it all, I cum, she cums… not everytime obviously but … so far so good. Early in life I moved out of my parents house, lived abroad in Europe for 3 years without her and as you can see I became a very open minded person. She on the other hand had a very strict upbringing. Specially because of her dad.
My "problem" is that I have a fairly big penis. 9" to be exact. I know it's not mandingo like but it's pretty decent. And I like to show it off. But my wife doesn't care if I have a big penis, especially cause she doesn't even know I have one. She only had sex with me her whole life and has nothing to compare with. When I show her some porn she thinks everyone is like that!
Now, imagine you're a girl with a great ass or chest or face or hair, whatever. But you never get acknowledged or can never show it off! It's very frustrating. Public hard-ons and bulges are a big no no. People frown upon that real bad and I get it. But it's not easy to have conversations about my penis size either. You always sound like a perv when you bring it up. Like now, I feel like an asshole perv to write you this. Lol.
I've had my share of sex outside of my relationship (still do) and it's hard, no pun intended, to find women that like big penises. Cause the truth is, most of them don't care about size and you know that better than myself.
Now, there are women out there that do like it big. I've only found a couple of them but it was the best sex I ever had. Not because they were the hottest or anything like that. But because they were sooo into it. One of them, the first time we had sex, came just by stroking my cock. After long kissing and all but, it was so amazing that she was that aroused because of my cock, that made me cum too! I dunno if that makes any sense or if I'm a wirdo.
Anyway, I would like to ask you guys 3 things:
1) How do I find more size queen women if I'm supposed to hide my dick every way I can?
BTW women that like it big, like it not because of the feel of it vaginally. They get turned on by looking and touching it. Pretty much like some guys like big tits, it's because looking and touching the breast feels good. Not cause they like fucking the tit "per se". So whenever I see those videos, including yours, "does size matter?", I don't get it! Cause it obviously matters, psychologically speaking. As much as being slim, tanned, fit, muscular and pretty matters. And it doesn't matter physically. Women being mostly aroused by the mind and clit than anything else.
2) How do I transform my wife into a open minded woman like you two? Is it possible?
She is very prude and mind you it will take a long time to bring her around those preconceptions. If I talk about something even remotely related to sex with other people, she'll just go crazy on me. I'm not jealous at all and no, she doesn't know I sometimes have sex on the side. I don't like lying about it either.
3) I jerk off a lot and I'm circumcised, I think that made my penis a little too insensitive. Sometimes it takes me hours to cum when having intercourse. Most women don't like penetration for that long, specially if they came already. Also when it stays hard for more than 2h it gets extremely sore afterwards, sometimes until the next day! Is it possible to bring that time down to 40 min or so?
Well that's about it, my text was way too long and I sincerely hope that it was not so boring.
Before I go though I have to say that when I first found out about you two on youtube I got supper excited just by hearing you guys talk about sex. Than I found some pics of you on flickr and oh boy, did I jerk of to those?! I had a blast, literally. Even took some pics of it planning on send you the photos but it was a long time ago and I was ashamed of it. Now, I don't care anymore. I've accepted my freakiness and that I'm all about my dick ;) and if you don't get offended I want to send you those pics. Can I?
Yes, definitely send your photos. You have what I'd call a "high class problem." Having a big dick. seems to be every man's dream but like you said, a lot of women could care less. The first time I encountered a 10 inch penis, it was a pretty sight but I made it clear that I was only interested in the first 6 or 7 inches. We ended up sitting facing each other so I only had to deal with the length I indicated. That's one of the reasons BIG dicks are a nuisance Most women can't let go and enjoy them as we are protecting ourselves from the pain of getting the cervix banged into. Too bad you are not gay. That's one demographic that would worship the ground you walk on.
Of course you must know I don't approve of your double standard marriage. You get to screw around while your wife stays at home uninformed about sex with other men. Like you said, she doesn't even know you have a big package because she's never experienced sex with anyone else. As a PhD sexologist, I often minimize big tits and slim women's bodies as so few of us have that. Those who do know that their days are numbered. As soon as a little bulge or age shows up, the male gaze goes elsewhere. The same is true with big dicks other than the gay scene. So few men are endowed with them I tend to minimize size.
I have always envisioned Brazil as a place of body freedom. So how come you cant stuff that monster cock in a tight Speedo and strut along the beach showing off his magnificent contours? Also Online dating would be a natural for you. I can see the headline now: Nine Inches of Man Meat looking for a warm place to snuggle into or to be held and admired. Thanks for letting other guys know that a big dick has it's own set of problems too.
Question 2) How do I transform my wife into a open minded woman like you two? Is it possible? She is very prudish and mind you it will take a long time to bring her around those preconceptions. If I talk about something even remotely related to sex with other people, she'll just go crazy on me. I'm not jealous at all and no, she doesn't know I sometimes have sex on the side. I don't like lying about it either.
Well, my friend, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Most men want a virginal wife and thanks to organized religions, the world operates with a sexual double standard. Men can fool around but not women. Perhaps your coming clean with her and confessing your sexual escapades might get her motivated to want to try sex with another man. But how would that really make you feel? Neither Carlin now I practice monogamy and the men we date know that. Some just can't handle it so they must move along. The sexual double standard and monogamy (for women) makes liars of us all. Let me know if you ever solve this one.
Question 3) I jerk off a lot and I'm circumcised, I think that made my penis a little too insensitive. Sometimes it takes me hours to cum when having intercourse. Most women don't like penetration for that long, specially if they came already. Also when it stays hard for more than 2h it gets extremely sore afterwards, sometimes until the next day! Is it possible to bring that time down to 40 min or so?
Being circumcised is the problem, not your penis size. They have removed the sensitive foreskin that had numerous nerve endings so you require friction instead of a more sensuous gliding. You must always use additional lubrication for both your and your woman's comfort. Perhaps some really hot fantasy would help speed up the process but there's nothing wrong with finishing yourself off by hand when either one of you get exhausted. Also anal penetration with her finger or a butt plug can be a big enhancement for men who are not homophobic. If you sense your partner is tired or bored, put an electric vibrator on the head of that big boy and see if that doesn't get his attention. Good luck.