One Man's Opinion on Squirting

Fri, 09/28/2012 - 08:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty and Carlin,

Note: Up front I'd like to apologize for the length of this, but if you hang in there, I believe you'll find it an interesting topic to discuss.

I found your page through your YouTube channel, and I am a big fan of your videos. Now that I'm hear I've spent about 20min looking through Betty's art. I had no idea she was so talented!

I'd very much like to hear you two speak in a video about Female Ejaculation, or "Squirting" as it is often called. As I'm sure you are aware, there is a near epidemic of it in pornography. I'm not sure how this trend in porn got started, but it has grown much more common over time. I make no judgement on that one way or another, but what does trouble me is the rising number of "squirters" out there who are not in porn (just your average girls). Further, I have actually heard some women say they don't think they have ever orgasmed because they "haven't ever squirted".

Similarly, I have heard some guys say they've "never made a woman squirt" like it was a bad thing. Granted, most of these encounters have been in online discussions, so I did feel I could just dismiss those, but even that has changed recently. A random woman I had met at a bar told me she was a "squirter", and she had an expression that communicated to me that I should be impressed. I never got to find out, but that's what she said in the course of conversation. Finally, recently one of my buddies started dating a girl that "squirted" during sex (without warning him), and he claims some of it hit the floor several feet away. He didn't elaborate, but I didn't get the vibe it was a good experience for him. Again, just his perspective.

I believe there is growing pressure of some kind for women to "squirt", and I can't think of how this got introduced other than through pornography. Now I don't claim to know everything about sex (that's your job), so correct me if I am wrong, but I have done some reading and apparently there are some "skene's glands" there that could allow -some- women to "ejaculate", but at most this fluid should only be a dribble from what I have read. My conclusion is that in most, if not all of this genre of porn, I believe these women are just urinating. Again, no judgement one way or the other, but if I'm right why not just call it "watersports" like they did in the old days. And why are so many young women (and men) being mislead by this?

I consider myself a good lover, at least so I've been told, and I have brought many women to orgasm either orally or manually (and once during intercourse) but I've never seen "squirting". I've heard them scream, I've heard them be silent, and I've seen women's bodies do all kinds of things in the grip of an orgasm, but not that.

I know an orgasm when I see and feel one, and no one is going to tell me that a female orgasm without "squirting" isn't a real orgasm, but that seems to be the myth that is growing in popularity. If I am wrong on any of this, please correct me. Either way, I'd really like to hear both of your thoughts on this, especially on YouTube. My hope is it may help others who are wondering about this subject. However, please don't use my name.

Thanks,
M

Dear M,

For me this squirting business is more like a parlor trick than a valid sexual response.
Although for a few women it's simply what happens when they have vaginal sex. We did the You Tube so take a look. Go onto our website and check out several of my essays on the so-called G Spot. Between you and me and any one else who will listen, I think it's a load of crap that got commercialized with all the G toys, books and videos. Now no one wants to tell the truth but I will. I've got nothing to lose.

Dr. Betty

Dr. Betty,

Thanks so much for the video and the email. I'm glad I'm not off base on this. I've done a lot more reading on the subject and frankly I'm convinced this is a gimmick. I noticed some things during my research... Most everyone in support of it, even doctors, seem to be selling something. Be it a book on how to do it, a video on the same, porn, or a special toy. Most women's blogs on the subject seem as though they're horrified at the thought of it being pee.

Honestly, I think they need to call it "squirting" to feel normal, and I find that sad. If your sexual response is to urinate I see no need to be ashamed. Other women seem to be into it on purpose because its the "New" sexual thing, they feel special, and I believe they're also propping up their man's sexual ego. Finally the little legitimate medical science I've found seems support that its very rare, and very little fluid.

The tragedy is this seems to be holding back honest sexual development in society and adding confusion as to what qualifies as a female orgasm. How, in this modern age is this possible, considering all that's been done to demystify female sexuality since the 50s and liberate women in this regard? I consider myself a modern man, and I find it appalling.

Thanks again, and keep being honest!
M

Hey M,

We are in complete agreement. You named it loud and clear:

"Most everyone in support of it, even doctors, seem to be selling something. Be it a book on how to do it, a video on the same, porn, or a special toy. Most women's blogs on the subject seem as though they're horrified at the thought of it being pee."

So they have named it "female ejaculation" which is no more than a teaspoon that mostly goes undetected. We now know that "squirting copious amounts is fresh urine that comes from the bladder." But again we call it "female ejaculation" because to admit it's urine disgusts them.

And finally: "Other women seem to be into it on purpose because its the "New" sexual thing, they feel special, and I believe they're also propping up a man's sexual ego."

Yes, again. Men love it because it proves they are good lovers. This whole hype around "female ejaculation" is like politics to control people's minds with PR which is mostly based on lies and BS. We must continue to be truth tellers.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Well whatever you wanna call it

Sat, 09/29/2012 - 21:27

If people just like squirting that's fine.

Dear Yclepta, my comments about squirting need not diminsh your

Betty Dodson's picture
Sun, 09/30/2012 - 10:34

pleasure when experiencing it. My rant is how this concept has become so popular that young girls think they must "ejacualte" like boys in order to "come" and this is just insane. Also squirting during sex with a partrner is not that universal and because commercial America has turned this into a sign that a woman has had a big orgasm, I speak for all the women who have not had this experience. And now people (especially our youth) expect this rare happening that your own experience demonstrates to be part of every orgasm. Look for my next post about "squirting" with a more scientific explanation.

Dr. Betty

Dear Yclepta, my comments about squirting need not diminsh your

Betty Dodson's picture
Sun, 09/30/2012 - 10:38

pleasure when experiencing it. My rant is how this concept has become so popular that young girls think they must "ejacualte" like boys in order to "come" and this is just insane. Also squirting during sex with a partrner is not that universal and because commercial America has turned this into a sign that a woman has had a big orgasm, I speak for all the women who have not had this experience. And now people (especially our youth) expect this rare happening that your own experience demonstrates to be part of every orgasm. Look for my next post about "squirting" with a more scientific explanation.

Dr. Betty

Two days ago, makin love with a new partner for the first time

Sun, 09/30/2012 - 16:18

after days of 'cyberforelay'; we eventually got around to
penetrative sex, after which we discovered the bed was rather wetter than  expected
(I hadn't cum yet) & she said 'I think I wet myself'. What was
exciting and very sexy to me was that she had got so excited that this had been her
inadvertent response, whether urine or whatever, & I reassured her
accordingly.
I think we're getting mixed up by noticing an occasional
response to deep pleasure, and focussing on that response rather than
the pleasure itself. That and the interests of the porn & sex
industries. $$$$$$$$$ for a sexual response you can SEE- hence the cum-shot I guess.
Like the electric tingle I get at orgasm sometimes, it starts in the centre of my lower back and goes right up into my head, I don't get fixated about pursuing it.

Look, I have nothing either

Mon, 10/01/2012 - 13:55
Lbee (not verified)

Look, I have nothing either to gain or to lose by putting my oar in here.

As of two months ago I had never even experienced a "normal" orgasm either during sex or during masturbation, and I'm nearly 40 years old.  My frustration with my anorgasmia brought me to this website--by way of Wikipedia, if you can believe it!  I had never had much luck in the past with clitoral stimulation, and by reading here (and on other sites) I began to discover some new things that helped me to incorporate clitoral stimulation during lovemaking with my husband.
After finally!!!  having a few orgasms together, I had a particularly powerful one...and completely wet the bed.
It came from the same general area, and was warm and wet like urine, but it didn't smell like urine, even the day after.
I started to get a little nervous after that, and whenever I would feel my bladder at all full during lovemaking, I would stop and run to the bathroom in order to avoid having this happen again.
But no matter how empty my bladder is, it still happens occasionally, usually when I least expect it and I'm just letting go.  And it's WAY more than a teaspoon, I'm sorry to say; it's more like a shot glass full.  We joke about it, calling it 'having a drink.'
Interestingly enough, when we are going at it and I'm getting really hot, I can actually feel fluid building up somewhere deep in there, because it's so warm...it's as if some lock opens and the fluid just pours in, but from where, and to where, I don't know...
Now I agree with you that this ridiculous emphasis/obsession with squirting is patently ridiculous.  But take it from someone who would just as much like to not wet the bed during orgasm:  at least in my case, it's definitely not urine.

it is not urine and it is real

Thu, 09/25/2014 - 19:19
Anon12 (not verified)

I agree with Lbee above. My bladder is always completely empty. It is not pee and it's more than a dribble coming out.
It actually comes from external clitoral stimulation as well as internal vaginal/g-spot stimulation.. just depends on what works for your body. 

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