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When I Communicate About Sex, BF Says, "I Know What I'm Doing"

Fri, 08/17/2012 - 09:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I'm coming to you with a problem many women might have. I am a 22 year old woman and my partner fails to acknowledge my need to foreplay before we go straight into sex and penetration. And when he does make an attempt to play with my clitoris or go down on me..it's just rough and not pleasurable. NUMEROUS times i have tried to explain what and how i like it and he just shuts me down and says "i know what im doing.. i know what to do.. let me do it"..

There's been times when i just get so frustrated and out of the mood that i just fake the pleasure. What are other ways to show and teach him if he remains stubborn that he is doing it "right" ???

Dear J,

He sounds like the type of dude you need to hit in the head with a baseball bat just to get his attention. Since you have verbalized what you want and need for your own orgasms during sex with him and he argues with you claiming he knows it all, he's demonstrated that he is not teachable.

Your part in this is that every time you fake pleasure he's convinced that he's right because you pretend what he's doing works!

Unless you can be more forceful in communicating, I'd simply chalk this one up to one of life's lessons and find a more open-minded boyfriend that you can be honest with at all times about what pleases you. Let this one go choke on his own ego! Back in Kansas we'd call this situation "Beating a dead horse!"

Dr. Betty

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Stop acting like it's pleasurable

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 09:21
Heylin

Just lie there and every and then ask if he's done yet so you can pull out your toys and get some actual pleasure. It might end the relationship but my feeling is that a guy who won't listen to what you have to say in regards to sex is probably not listening about much else.

........communication........

Sat, 08/18/2012 - 11:26
marki (not verified)

.........try this.......

....the next time you two are in bed and he says he knows what he is doing....when he gets ready to stick it in...get out of bed and tell him "you know what you're doing....handle this one by yourself"....and either get dressed and leave or go sleep on the couch.

This guy sounds like YOU would be better off by yourself. He is a CLOD and has NO IDEA what he is doing and you need to be rid of him.

...what you are having ISN'T SEX.......it is an assault.

....my opinion......

I agree that completely

Sun, 08/19/2012 - 02:33
babysnaakes (not verified)

I agree that completely disregarding your pleasure even whie you are verbalizing your needs is a warning sign of someone who does not respect your autonomy.

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