Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Dr. Betty,

I need your help. I am going crazy.

I'm a sixteen year old girl who has been masturbating all her life. I started when I was three. I would take a hardback book and grind on it. I actually had my first legit orgasm when i was 8. My Family was always very lovig about it, the usual "It's okay in your bedroom, but not in the front yard"! talk. When I hit age thirteen I was diagnosed and treated with accute anorexia. After a total of three months in rehab and hospitals, I came back home.

I continued masturbating, but soon found a lot of shame and 'dirty fucking slut' thoughts in my head. So I restricted masturbation to two nights a week: Fridays and Saturdays. Eventually, the shame got so intense that I started cutting myself. I don't understand. Why am I sometimes such a sex goddess and other times a shamed victim?

I've never been molested or raped that I know of. But I still feel so goddamned shamed. My family isn't even religious. Now I've been using my vibrator, and since it's summer I use it every night, even though the shame keeps coming full force the instance I orgasm. Please help me. I am tired of this self-loathing I feel.

Dear V,

The acute anorexia indicates you were struggling to have the perfect body which does not exist. So self-loathing sets in. Masturbation is not causing your "dirty slut thoughts." Most of America today is half crazy with sex mis-information and guilt. We don't give our kids any decent sex information in school and that leaves Internet porn that can really screw you up. Since your folks are not religious and there are no unusual experiences of abuse, I have difficulty understanding your extreme shame after every orgasm.

There is no way I can help you other than to say STOP! Stop masturbating to control the feelings of shame and stop cutting yourself. Easy for me to say! I would recommend you find a good therapist to help you get to the bottom of your self-loathing. You appear to be a beautiful young woman and I am hoping you get the necessary help to support whatever emotional changes that need to take place. Please let me know what happens.

Dr. Betty

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