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Masturbation Goes From Pleasure to Pain Very Quickly

Tue, 08/07/2012 - 16:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr Betty,

First of all, let me tell you that you really helped my cousin out a lot in discovering her sexuality. (She's the one who recommended you). She didn't know anything about female anatomy and sexuality before discovering you. She still hasn't had a boyfriend, but now embraces her sexuality and regularly masturbates happily.

About me:

I've always felt like a very sexual person, since I was a child. However, whenever I try to orgasm, I initially feel a fantastic build-up of pleasure (which promises a lot more), but before I feel like I've reached completion, my clit suddenly goes on overdrive and is very painful. It goes from pleasure to pain extremely quickly. After that, even if I let it cool off for a while, any stimulation will just feel numbly pleasurable or still painful. I've tried researching oversensitive clitoris online without success.

Just to make it clear, I've had penetrative sex, oral sex, hand jobs and I've tried all this with myself (frequently) with my hand, vibrators and pillows...you name it! Always with the same result. It can't even be about the emotions, because I've had sex with someone I love as well.

I do still enjoy sex, but it always has an element of frustration. Like I can never quite "finish". Another interesting/strange part of my sexuality is that sexual arousal makes me need to pee. I don't even need to stimulate myself. The simple act of being aroused by thinking about sex will make me go pee after a while! Maybe these 2 aspects of my sexuality are connected?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and all the best,
C

Dear C,

Do I understand you correctly that no matter what kind of stimulation you use, your clitoris always goes into pain mode? I know it's quite common for beginners to demand an orgasm and they often end up applying too much pressure to the sensitive clitoris with it's 8,000 nerve endings. Once that happens, the clitoral glans need to rest as it stays numb for quite some time.

However your complaint about having to urinate when you "think" about sex is a new one to me. One very suspicious statement is "Like I can never quite "finish". Does this mean you have never had an orgasm that you were aware of? As long as a woman continues some kind of clitoral stimulation she is never "finished" even after an orgasm or several. And the frequent urination is an utter mystery to me unless you have some kind of a low grade Urinary Tract Infection. This is beyond any "tips" about how to improve your orgasms. I'd recommend you see your health care provider. Then get back to me with what you learned.

Dr. Betty

We Suggest: 
First Time Orgasm
Manual Skills I - Vulva Play
Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique
Awakening the Clitoris
Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I'm pleased to read this

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 03:36
camillala

I'm pleased to read this answer, Betty, since it seems more balanced than the last one. Way to go!

In addition to your answer, I'd like to add, for the record, something that's basically always on topic on this site and yet maybe C missed it: It could be that her exceptions of what an orgasm should be (fireworks, an amazing feeling of completion etc) are blocking her experience of the orgasms she's actually having. C, if you're reading this, Betty and Carlin made a video about this very recently.

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