The expression, “Physician heal thyself” has more meaning today than yesterday. After four decades of teaching women about masturbation, I’d gotten quite complacent in the last few years. After all, as an octogenarian, surely I wasn’t expected to continue learning about my sexuality and even get better at it. Oh yeah? Well, I was dead wrong!
It seems that letting several months go by without an extended session of sex with myself was becoming the norm. I even blogged about a couple of spectacular orgasms I’d had under these circumstances. My friends were becoming concerned about my lack of enthusiasm for maintaining consistent orgasms. I too was concerned enough to consult my friend Dr. Barbara Bartlik about perhaps getting some testosterone cream for my clitoris (that seemed to be on an extended vacation).
So far I’ve just been taking some vitamin supplements suggested by Dr. Bartlik following blood tests to discover what I might need. It was even noted by her that my testosterone levels were already pretty good. Several of my girlfriends have often accused me of dosing myself with this hormone that is considered to be a key to explain my continued sexual interest and performance over the years.
So yesterday, I was graced with a humongous bowel movement that always puts me in a good mood. It was such a complete release I even took a picture of this beautiful fecal matter with my i-phone. Around 6pm I was ready to come off my computer after hours of answering sex questions and finding things I wanted Carlin to post on our website. When I realized I had a free evening before me. I thought, “What a good time to stretch out on the bed and have my way with myself.”
Here’s my sexual confession: I’d gotten quite lazy with my masturbation practice. The last blog where I described a BIG orgasm was months ago, maybe 4 or more. This time, instead of a quickie, I got out a towel, my almond oil, the Hitachi and my Obsidian black dildo. No porn to jump start my arousal because I’ve discovered it’s totally anti-climatic. I flit from one image to the next looking for a hotter one to turn me on more and more only to discover I’d lost momentum by dribbling it away in bits and pieces. This time I go onto my mental Rolodex full of hot fantasies I’ve collected in my memory bank over the years.
I began by considering “John in the Park” about my Canadian art student lover when we were together one summer in Quebec visiting his parents. We were always looking to find some private place to fuck. One night we ended up in a park where I’d hiked my full skirt up, straddled him and sat down on his hard cock. Holding onto the back of the bench, I slowly moved up and down, forward and back with slow movements that were getting us both steamy hot. Suddenly John said, “Stop moving! A person’s approaching.” It was some dude who sat down on an adjacent bench. My full skirt covered us both completely as I slid off John’s dick leaving a swath of my skirt to hide his hardon. My fantasy elaborates on a threesome with the stranger fucking me in the ass while I continue to fuck John. Good lord. It’s getting me hot just thinking about it now. However, that’s not the fantasy I used yesterday.
I settled on “The Poker Game,” where Daddy and his buddies are playing cards in the basement. (Naturally it’s the basement where my little brothers and friends played “doctor” and other sex games). Daddy has taught me how to tighten my vaginal muscle so no one can enter me. I sit on his lap while his hard penis presses against my tight child’s vaginal opening while I press my big dildo against my cunt that is held tight with my pelvic floor muscle as the Hitachi hums around my clit. I’m all lubed up and very quickly I realize I could easily come if I put my hard Obsidian stone inside me. No! I hold off, but as I do, I must move the Hitachi further away from my throbbing clitoris.
I imagine moving around the table. Next, I straddle Uncle Fred’s dick. He’s got a little one but still, I don’t let him penetrate me. As I make my way from penis to penis, I imitate how they press into me with my dildo. Suddenly I am about to blow when I pull the vibe away entirely and do some deep breathing to calm down. Instead of worrying I’ll wait too long and end up with an anti-climax, I realize I’m getting more aroused by edging up to my orgasm and then backing off. Why has it been so long since I’ve done this I wonder? Finally I return to Daddy and tell him I’m ready to be fully penetrated but I want him to be the first one. The big black Obsidian dildo pushes past the ring of fire and plunges all the way inside me. Again I pull the vibe away and do some serious deep breathing. Oh the sensation is so hot, but I refuse to come until I’ve made the rounds of the table. Going from dick to dick, I imitate their style of thrusting with the vibe no where near my clit now because I’m right in front of a huge orgasm.
When I make it back to Daddy, I beg him to please fuck me until I come. He loves his little girl very much and again holds back until I plead for him to go all the way inside me. As I plunge the head of my dildo back into the cull de sack passing under the mouth of my uterus, I put the vibe near my clitoral shaft and my orgasm seems endless. I cry out, fucking my dildo saying “Oh yes, Daddy, yes. Do me good and deep!” I do not hold back this time as I let my pleasure come out in a full voice of wonderful sounds.
The orgasm goes on and on until I realize I am now riding the aftershocks of pleasure that follow a big come. How long it lasted with wave after wave of delicious sensations I have no idea. Finally I collapse, leaving my dildo deep inside me. I switch off the Wand and lay there marveling at my orgasmic bliss. Why have I denied myself this treat for so long? I feel wonderful knowing I’ve finally returned to my sexual self. I’m thrilled to know that age will not diminish my joy with this kind of orgasmic regeneration. While quickies are nice, stretching out my sexual energy like this gives self-loving a fuller dimension that I’ve missed. So now I’m looking forward to the next sex session with myself.