Am I Ruined Forever From Too Much Clit Pressure?

Thu, 08/30/2012 - 14:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello,

Since I came into awareness of sex and masturbation I've been bothered by the fact that I have little, and sometimes painful, sensation in my clitoris. Until very recently, I believed I was doomed to never experience any form of sexual satisfaction. I had my first orgasm, but it was extremely difficult and has been difficult to replicate without the use of toys. It's impossible with my hands.

Recently I read an article about different sports that put pressure on the genital area, resulting in desensitization. Something I had suspected was finally evidenced: the extremely high-pressure method I had been using to masturbate, on my hands (as you reference children doing, which I occasionally did even through my teens) could possibly cause real damage. I have been sore at times afterwards. Now I am afraid that this habit may have permanently affected my ability to experience pleasure.

Is it possible that it will heal with time, or will the damage always be done? Is there hope that I might one day have a sensitive (and not in the sharp, painful way) clitoris?

Dear C,

This could definitely be a problem for girls who rely on firm pressure from a piece of furniture or a strong vibrator smashing their sweet clits with 8,000 nerve endings demanding instant pleasure. Throughout all of my published information on the best use of a vibrator, I have always pointed out the importance of building up excitement slowly and NOT bearing down to get more sensation.That will just shut down those nerve endings and produce pain instead of pleasure.

However our current demographic of youth in the digital age of instant everything, kids just don't want to wait or go slow or include any finesse. Therefore many clits and also dicks have been traumatized. The good news it that all of our bodies mucous membrane heals rather quickly (like cold sores or tender gums in our mouths) and the same is true of our genitals. So back off on demanding instant sexual results and slow down. Eventually your body will heal itself.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Some Like It Hard?

Sat, 09/01/2012 - 13:15
Calamity Kate (not verified)

Hi Dr. Betty,
I happened upon this post by chance and feel so fortunate because this has been a (pretty much) life-long issue for me.  You mentioned children rubbing on hard things - I've actually been masturbating as long as I can remember, and I've always needed indirect but really intense, grinding pressure.  And only using my hands- in fact, I think there is something about the strain of holding a crunch position for that long and using every muscle in my body that I'm dependent on.  Never really got the hang of a vibrator.  I have worried some times about desensitivizing myself, but if that's the issue I think that ship has sailed.  Moreover, I'm still pretty sensitive - I can barely stand direct contact, and really prefer pressure on the entire vulva, through underwear, concentrated just above my clit.  
Anyhow, I'm more concerned about how to share my needs with a partner.  First of all, I don't really know what to ask for, or if it's really possible for someone else to recreate what I do.  Second, I've never actually masturbated in front of someone becuase it makes me feel so unsexy.  I'm straight and plus-size.  I have enough issues about looking and feeling feminine with men - dealing with all of this just feels like too much. I've actually sort of faked it before, trying to masturbate myself in a more delicate, sensual way for a partner (feels great, but doesn't go anywhere).  While I can come to an orgasm vaginally, I typically can't do it alone and it's more of a psychological orgasm, whereas my home-made orgasms are mind-blowing out of body experiences.  Seriously, so wonderful.
So ultimately I guess my questions are:
1) How can I communicate my needs with a partner?
2) Any tips on not feeling so embarrassed about this?
3) While we're at it, can you recommend any porn featuring normal to plus bodied women?  I think it would be easier for me to visualize myself doing these things if could watch other women that look like me doing them.

THANKS
C

Dear C, I don't normally answer questions here, but....

Sun, 09/02/2012 - 15:26

You might consider printing out your response on D&R and have a potential lover read it. I found it quite clearly stated. I suggest you have vaginal orgasms with a partner and after they leave grind away for a mind-blowing come! It seems to me the important thing for all of us to have at least one way we can have our orgasms. Just use Google for your other question about porn. Consider yourself fortunate to have a way to experience fabulous orgasms. It doesn't matter that it's just with yourself. Lovers come and go but the love affair we have with ourselves lasts a lifetime.

Dr. Betty

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Mon, 11/02/2015 - 10:10
livy (not verified)

Hello, I'm 15 and I was curious of my clit and so I took a window clip and I placed it on my my clit and kept it there for about 5 minutes and I took it off and it felt weird but when I touched it it felt good. But when I had it on my clit it was hurting.... So I was wondering is it bad to do that and will it effect me in the future?

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