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What's the Best Lubricant to Use with the Sponge or Diaphragm?

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 09:08
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been an avid follower of DodsonAndRoss for a couple of years. I would love to say that the work you and Carlin are doing spreads so much good into the world that it is beyond words!  I have been sexually active for about 6 months with my lovely boyfriend and we have been using condoms for most of that time.

After extensive research on both our parts (since neither of us have any STIs) we decided that the Today Sponge is the best form of birth control for our circumstance. In case our circumstance changes, we were also looking into using the diaphragm.

While using condoms, the lubrication from the condom and my own natural lubrication has always been enough for comfort and pleasure. But with the sponge, we have found that (unless I'm very, very excited) our bodies' lubrication is not quite enough to keep us both happy. We have both been slightly chafed almost half the time we've tried using the sponge- I more than him, especially on my inner lips.

In my masturbation practice, I alternate between almond and grape seed oil, in combination with my body's lubrication. But I'm not sure how oil will affect the sponge during intercourse, and I can’t find any information about it on the Internet.

I would like to know what you believe is the best type of added lubrication is when using the sponge and what type of lubrication you found is best with the diaphragm.

Thanks a million!

Dear O,

Although I've had no experience with the sponge, I see no conflict in using your oil. Even with the diaphragm, we used a petroleum based cream for sex as did the rest of NYC swingers for 10 years. There were no negative repercussions and my diaphragm was never damaged. I would feel safe saying you can use your oil with a diaphragm.

Since the AIDS scare, people have gone into what I'd call "overdrive" on safer sex rules. You are both young and healthy, so don't get too focused on all the awful things that can happen due to sex. Maybe that's America's way to scare us into spending more time in church and voting Republican.

Dr. Betty

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Diaphragm and lubrication

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 10:56
Lady Grinning Soul

If you do go on to use a diaphragm you'll probably find you don't need any additional lube if you didn't whilst using condoms. I've recently got a diaphragm and so far haven't needed to use any other lubricant with it; it doesn't dry you out or affect your natural lubrication in any way.

That said if you do want to use some, there are warnings all over the leaflet that comes with the diaphragm about oil deteriorating the rubber so I personally wouldn't take the risk. Perhaps it affects it at such a slow rate that you'd need to change your diaphragm before it causes any damage anyway, but I still wouldn't want to risk it. Water based lubricants shouldn't damage it.

I can't advise about the sponge having never used one.

Lioquid silk

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 16:17
Jake E

The advice on the Today sponge site says 

The problem is, though Aqualube is water based it contains Glycerin so I personally wouldn't use it. 

I would go with Liquid silk 

If you're diaphragm is

Tue, 07/24/2012 - 00:33
oracle (not verified)

If you're diaphragm is rubber, you cannot use oil- same deal as condoms, the oil will break it down. For that reason I got a silicone one, which gives you the flexibility of being able to use both water and oil based lubricants. The silicone one will also remain, er, scent free. 

Just thought I'd add-
I found natural spermicide!!l It's called Contragel, has very few ingredients and is almost vegan!! I was a little freaked out by non-oxyl 9 used in conventional sperimcide (I go by the rule that I don't put anything up my vag that I wouldnt put in my mouth), but finding the natural spermicide sealed the deal that I'd switch to the diaphragm after deciding to stop hormones (thanks to D & R). Have had it for 4 months, been jizzed in a million times and it definitely does its job haha.

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