Can I Make Myself Ejaculate Without Touching My Penis?

Mon, 07/23/2012 - 08:03
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

I apologize if this is not your area of expertise (since it refers to the male sexual response) but:

I am a 19 year old bisexual man and probably best described as a "bottom". I don't mean I'm into dominance and submission play when I say that, but I have never really been interested in penetrating anyone - I'd much rather be the one being penetrated.

Because of this, I've never prioritized my penis when I masturbate, preferring to focus on my nipples and ass, both of which feel better for me than touching my penis.

Anyway, about three months ago I bought a dildo and finally had something with which to penetrate myself with properly and it feels so much better than my penis that I would probably have stopped bothering with touching it completely if it weren't for the fact that I can't orgasm without stroking my penis.

When I masturbate, I usually start by playing with my nipples until I get aroused enough to want to put it in my ass, and then I'll masturbate with my dildo whilst continuing to play with my nipples. Sometimes I've put a small vibrator on my penis at the same time which enhances the pleasure. Despite how good it feels, though, I've very rarely felt myself get anywhere near orgasm this way. The only way I can cum is to start stroking my penis at the same time, even though it only feels maybe 20% better than without.

Now obviously this has its benefits - like complete control over when I want to orgasm - but I really want to have an orgasm without touching my penis at least some of the time. I can't seem to do it, though... and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

How can I make myself cum without having to touch my penis?

Dear D,

You remind me of a woman who wants to come from vaginal stimulation alone and doesn't want to touch her clitoris. Why such a restriction on your sexual pleasure and orgasms? My best advice is to not force yourself to chose either/or but to embrace the combo orgasm. Penetration with penile (or clitoral) stimulation. Happy combo orgasms.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time