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Pre-Orgasmic Guy Asks How Do I Orgasm?

Fri, 06/01/2012 - 15:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm a healthy, straight 18-year-old boy who became (sporadically) sexually active this year. I had my cherry popped by a girl well-versed in the art of orgasm, but despite her best efforts I never felt much more than a light tickling sensation in my penis during our time together. The same has been true with one other partner--despite relaxing to the greatest possible extent, I haven't felt anything close to an orgasmic sensation or ejaculated.

Since puberty, I haven't had any trouble getting and maintaining an erection--since I don't ejaculate, I can hold onto mine for hours on end. I've never been diagnosed with any kind of medical problem, and testicular self-checks don't reveal anything strange (I haven't been to a urologist or sexologist about this particular problem yet, but hope to do so soon). I'm sensitive in the testicular area and can get erections in response to sexual thoughts, but periodic attempts at masturbation produce no response. I have ejaculated as a result of wet dreams before, but I don't feel anything I'd define as "orgasmic", and the dreams seem to come randomly, rather than in response to my masturbation attempts or sexual thoughts.

Do you have any idea what could cause an inability to orgasm/ejaculate in someone my age? I've seen from my research that "delayed ejaculation" exists, but in my case the "delay" is forever. I'm confused.

Dear A,

This is a first for me. Let me guess, you were raised as an orthodox Jew or a practicing Catholic? Both religions prohibit masturbation. Although you might not have any memory of it, you were discouraged from touching your penis as a small child. You never masturbated throughout childhood and now into your teens. So in order to function as a normal young man, in spite of some religious doctrine, you must begin to practice self-stimulation on a regular basis using some kind of organic oil like coconut or almond. Most health food stores carry these products. Just read my advice to young women in a similar situation. Do not expect instant results. You have years of penis neglect to undo so be patient and practice, practice, practice.

Dr. Betty

We Suggest: 
Learn to Last Longer During Sex
Selfloving is a Very Practical Way to Get Better & Better at Sex
Soft Penetration is a Great Way to Deepen Our Connection
Learning Ejaculatory Control
Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I have had the same problem.

Wed, 06/06/2012 - 00:32
Paviel Petrovich (not verified)

Assuming that it is a problem. My religious upbringing (Lutheran) has had very little effect on other aspects of my life, nor was I prohibited outright from playing with my penis, so I'm inclined to believe that I am innately asexual (or maybe merely less sexual). I enjoy watching pornography, but all I really want to do is watch, or read, or fantasize about sexual scenarios; I have very little interest in participating in them.
I'm comfortable enough with my body to visit nudist parks, so I'm certain that I don't have any body image problems.
I guess I just consider sexual activities in general to be too great a risk for too small a reward, and even masturbation (which has no risk at all) seems to require too much effort for too little payoff.

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