Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
My fiance and I have been working on this for a while but nothing has come of it yet. She has never had an orgasm that wasn't from masturbation. Often she says her clitoris gets too sensitive and she needs me to stop. Whenever she does get close however, she faints or "blacks out" and it scares the daylight out of her.
She says for me not to worry because she loves the feeling of me inside of her way more than the feeling of an orgasm, but I still can't help but wonder if it could just be something I'm not doing well enough.
We need help, any suggestions?
Dear J,
I congratulate any man who is smart enough to ask a sex question. How about you release yourself from the standard male agenda of "Giving Her an Orgasm." Since she can come from doing herself, let her stimulate her clitoris while you are fucking. That way you can concentrate on the sensations in your penis while you glide in and out of her vagina. Her clit gets too sensitive when you do it and she is most likely unable to say something for fear of hurting your feelings. This is so standard for so many girls as well as grown women. Thanks to all mothers who baby their sons.
I go into more detail in my e-book "Orgasms for Two." I recommend you take time to read it, maybe even read it together. The blacking out business is because she is holding her breathe in some huge effort to bring on an orgasm. It really isn't that much work but it does take concentration. We need to breathe, move our bodies and you can both learn how to use your pelvic floor muscles. C'mon. Sex is not a test. It's about adult play. Instead of "working on it" just release yourself so you can begin to share your orgasms and have fun.
Dr. Betty
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