Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dearest Dr Betty:

I have recently started an online Dom/Sub relationship with this young man from halfway across the world (I am about 8 years older then him, it is very hot.)  We plan to meet, but for now, all we've got is mail and online play.

Now, Domming is pretty new to me, but it feels quite natural and I am really enjoying it. It has made me realized some things about my sexuality and feels very empowering. However, sometimes I still want to be in control and call the shots, but I am a lazy person and want him to please me... without me having to guide everything.

Apparently he hasn't cybered with anyone though (odd, since he has had more romantic partners than I have) But I haven't really, either, and I'm not having any difficulty with it. He is having trouble, and doesn't know what to do or say. Even if I tell him to take control (he identifies as a switch, and not just a sub) he still has a block.

Help me whip my little pet into shape, Betty! How can I get him to loosen up and take the reins while still knowing his place?

Dear Dom,

If I had the answer to that one, I could retire a wealthy woman. Every woman's dream is to get her man to loosen up, take the reins while still knowing his place.  What you are requesting is the essence of romantic love where a woman wants her lover to read her mind. IMPOSSIBLE! This is why the book Shades of Gray is such a big success. It's Romantic Love wearing black leather and silver chains. Think of this as similar to training a puppy. Repetition with treats after each time he performs a trick well. Just don't hold your breathe. Like all trainers know, it takes time and a load of patience. Good luck.

Dr. Betty

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