Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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It's terrific to see a young woman who has learned so much here and is so unashamedly in charge of her own sexuality. I wish you the best! It does occur to me that the same information that C has found here on D&R is equally accessible to young men, if they only knew where to look. Why don't we ever seem to hear from young males who have become better lovers through what they've learnt from Dr Betty? Part of the problem must be our abysmal, pleasure-phobic sex education. (A young man who's been kept in ignorance can't be blamed for not knowing what questions to ask!) Part may be those raging hormones, though I honestly believe that most young men want to help please the young women in their lives---they've just had few ways to get accurate information about how to do so.

Curiously, C doesn't mention being concerned with how to be a good lover herself when she starts to have partner sex. This isn't any more automatic for women than it is for men. One of the problems with conventional thinking about male sexuality is that even many professionals seem to think that it's so 'straightforward' that everything worth knowing about it is already known. But just as with female sexuality, I think that male sexuality has never been fully (or even adequately) explored. Someday, that will change. Anyway, it's great that another young person's life has been enhanced by what they've learnt at D&R.

My main concern when I wrote to Dr. Betty was thanking her for making me feel in control of my sexuality. When I said "positve experiences" I meant for me and my partner. When I found D&R all I had known of sex was penis + vagina = baby and don't do it before marriage or you're a bad person. I felt like a freak for wanting pleasure and being attracted to both sexes. This site has made me feel unashamed. When I have sex I want to be have an open dialogue so we both know what the other likes and wants.

C, thanks very much for your reply. What Dr Betty has done for you, she's also done for so many of us: helping us to be unashamed and vastly better informed. I didn't mean to imply that you personally would be unconcerned about your partners. I had a lover once who really was selfish and only into her own pleasure, and this has made me a bit oversensitive on this topic at times. :)  I got a lot of sex-negativity growing up, too, including being told I'd go to Hell for masturbating. Dr Betty's complete openness about sexuality has been a huge help to me as well. And I think there are many of us who, like you, naturally want pleasure and may have more than one kind of attraction, but we've been taught to feel 'bad' for having these normal characteristics that are actually just part of our unique, perfectly OK selves. Educators like Dr Betty (well, there's really only one of her) are the perfect antidote to society's vast store of misinformation. I'm sure you're going to have great experiences with partner sex as well as solo sex, and those open dialogues you'll have are what all couples should be aiming for. Your future partner will be very lucky to be with someone like you.