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I Think I Numbed Out My Clitoris

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 12:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

First off I've been visiting your site every day for a while now, and I want to thank you again for the important work you and Carlin do.

My story is thus: after getting caught up in the wave of vibrator enthusiasm that has swept the world, I bought myself a lovely Doc Johnson white glass vibe. And it became my lover, before I had a real lover. I was completely addicted! Unfortunately I used it exactly opposite to how I've (only now) been shown it should be, pressing down onto my clit and holding it in one spot. And I've totally numbed it out!

I was fully orgasmic with my hands before I bought the vibe, and had been for years- it was never an instant gratification situation, it took me about 15 minutes to reach orgasm. But now I have to masturbate for up to an hour! I also haven't been able to come with a partner yet, even though I constantly stimulate my clit during the act. I also enjoy recieving oral a lot, and the guy who helps me pretty well knows what he's doing. I don't have a problem with incorporating the vibe into sex but at 18 years old I'd like it to be added pleasure not a necessity.

As of now, my vibe has been retired for a month, and I've been manually masturbating regularly. As far as I can tell the time it takes hasn't lessened, and the end result is not as powerful as it was before. Have you any advice on the best way to resensitize my clit? Cold chicken or slow phase out? Even though I never subjected myself to anything that was uncomfortable or painful I'm terrified that I've done something irreparable to myself.

Thanks again for listening to my problems! lots of love,
M

Dear M,

I'm sorry to hear of your numbed out clit but this too shall pass. All of the mucous membrane body parts heal beautifully if given some time. So let you sweet clitty rest for a while and know that 15 minutes up to an hour is well within the range of average time spent for sexual arousal. We are a society of "add hot water and stir" for instant results.

The biggest problem for women is trying to come with the time that works for men. Keep reading around D&R and gathering information. I do believe makers of vibrators need to include some of my information on the best use but most will not. Why I don't know.

Consider using only those sex toys suggested by us and always keep your vibe in motion. Don't obsess. You vulva will heal and all will be well.

Dr. Betty

We Suggest: 
Manual Skills I - Vulva Play
Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique
Awakening the Clitoris
Some Points on Handling a Clitoris
Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I'd say don't constantly

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 15:47
Elin A (not verified)

I'd say don't constantly stimulate it with hands nor vibe. Go around it, tease and touch other parts, too.

numbed out clitoris

Sat, 05/05/2012 - 22:29
dancinggrannie (not verified)

I agree that your clitoris will get it's feeling back. I would suggest not to use vibrators at your age. I tried it once probably early 20's and the orgasm happened within seconds. it was no fun and that was over pants...just tested out a massager i found laying around the house. Now at 61, I have to use them or no orgasm. I didn't really start using them much until pre-menopause. I think it's best to stick to hands and other body parts while young and able to orgasm easily.

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