After My Vibe Can I have Manual Orgasms?

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 09:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I've spent quite a bit of time reading your great posts. I still have a question, though, about orgasm with manual stimulation. I completely agree a woman should be able to bring a vibrator into any sexual encounter-- and I do-- but I would still really love to be able to orgasm without a vibrator. I'm 29 and have never been able to do this.

Am I forever addicted to the vibrator, or is there hope?

Thank you!

Dear J,

Ask yourself why you want to orgasm without a vibrator. Is it to please a current or potential lover? Is it because you want to be a purist? Can you imagine a guy wanting to know how he can orgasm without his porn? Believe me if you were stuck on an island without electricity you would end up being able to use your hand eventually. But as long as we have electricity, why deny yourself the pleasure? Sure, you can retire the vibrator, give it away and go on manual. But be prepared to begin feeling frustrated to the point where you go buy another one.

Yes it's possible but it takes quite a while. My position? I say embrace modern technology and just learn how to use it even better. For me my vibrator and dildos are not addictions, they are my choices. I'll bet you're dating some guy who wants to give you an orgasm with HIS fingers. Did I guess right?

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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The quiet factor is one advantage

Thu, 05/31/2012 - 10:43
Rosie G (not verified)

There are occations when being able to come manually can be handy. Like on a crowded bunk bed bus in the middle of Vietnam, which were incidently the conditions under which I first managed to come with just my hand. This was after four vibrator-deprived weeks on a trip around Asia with my girlfriends. Analogous to Betty's dessert island picture really..
Manual masturbation is not really much different to using a vibrator, but it is quieter... If you want to come this way, I found that employing a fansasy, just being in the moment, (and having nothing else to do) where usfull ways to get to the right level of arousal.

Out in the bush

Sat, 06/02/2012 - 12:55
Hen (not verified)

Another variation of the quiet factor: Going hiking in the wilderness (and not wanting to destroy the quietness there or carry an extra load of batteries...) - I think I'm motivated enough, or will be, some time soon!

There's no shame in wanting

Tue, 06/05/2012 - 22:55
Diana D. (not verified)

There's no shame in wanting to put some work into your orgasms. I gave up the vibe because orgasms came too quickly, there was no anticipation. That sounds ridiculous writing it, but it took some of the joy away for it to be so easy. I'm really not crazy.

"Quite a while," which is discouragingly. If you stop and continue with your hands, you'll get back to orgasming manually in... a month? Months? I can't remember how long it took me. But you will get back there after your clitoris resensitizes.

A clitoris is sensitive with a vibrator and fingers. It's what

Betty Dodson's picture
Fri, 06/15/2012 - 21:02
Betty Dodson

 we have become acoustemened to. And it's also related to our age and past sex experiences. One of my best GF who lived on my same floor told me that altho she loved her vibrator, she'd given it up for her old orgaasms of siitting in the bathtub of warm water doing a hand job. I told her I whole heartedly approved. There is no one right way to have an orgasm.

viva the Mystic Wand!

Sat, 06/16/2012 - 09:51

I am 54 and it seems like orgasm used to come much easier than it does now. Even with a vibrator or two, it seems to take longer and require much more effort and concentration than in the past. I would really love the convenience of being able to get off without electronic devices, but I don't think it's going to happen. So I am just glad that I discovered the joys of vibrators a couple years ago, and rechargeable batteries! Maybe if I had learned to masturbate manually when I was young, I could continue that practice now. But I have never gotten off that way, and doubt that it will ever happen now. So viva the Mystic Wand!