First of all, I was so excited when I found your website (i came across it when I was looking up the article 'myth of the vaginal orgasm' ) and I thank you for now I have vast amounts of evidence to use when I have sex talks with friends etc.
However, I need advice on making cow girl better. I have been with my boyfriend for years and every time I get on top he takes over from the bottom in a matter of minutes. I think my problem is that I can't get enough speed and am very slow. Also I don't even know if I'm doing the actual position right. For example, is it an up-down motion or forward backwards motion? I would really like to be able to get him off while I'm in control but so far it hasn't happened.
So many men have been "running the fuck" for so long, they have no idea how to surrender to a woman. Tell your Darling BF to let you do the moving and establish the rhythm. Speak it very clearly but sweetly. The first few times I tried this way back then, it was so unheard of that a woman could take over that one lover complained that I was using him like a dildo. Yes, but he was still attached to it.
In your case, make it sound like you want to play a new game called "My living flesh dildo" or some other cute name. Don't worry about how to move. Try it all and your body will let you know what feels best. Never worry about your man getting off. The most erotic thing for any man is to be with an authentically orgasmic woman. Ride 'em cowgirl!