Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Betty,

I'm a healthy, straight 18-year-old boy who became (sporadically) sexually active this year. I had my cherry popped by a girl well-versed in the art of orgasm, but despite her best efforts I never felt much more than a light tickling sensation in my penis during our time together. The same has been true with one other partner--despite relaxing to the greatest possible extent, I haven't felt anything close to an orgasmic sensation or ejaculated.

Since puberty, I haven't had any trouble getting and maintaining an erection--since I don't ejaculate, I can hold onto mine for hours on end. I've never been diagnosed with any kind of medical problem, and testicular self-checks don't reveal anything strange (I haven't been to a urologist or sexologist about this particular problem yet, but hope to do so soon). I'm sensitive in the testicular area and can get erections in response to sexual thoughts, but periodic attempts at masturbation produce no response. I have ejaculated as a result of wet dreams before, but I don't feel anything I'd define as "orgasmic", and the dreams seem to come randomly, rather than in response to my masturbation attempts or sexual thoughts.

Do you have any idea what could cause an inability to orgasm/ejaculate in someone my age? I've seen from my research that "delayed ejaculation" exists, but in my case the "delay" is forever. I'm confused.

Dear A,

This is a first for me. Let me guess, you were raised as an orthodox Jew? Although you might not have any memory of it, you were discouraged from touching your penis as a small child. You never masturbated throughout childhood and now into your teens.

So in order to function as a normal young man, in spite of some religious doctrine, you must begin to practice self-stimulation on a regular basis using some kind of organic oil like coconut or almond. Most health food stores carry these products. Just read my advice to young women in a similar situation. Do not expect instant results. You have years of penis neglect to undo so be patient and practice, practice, practice.

Dr. Betty

Dear Betty,

I don't think I'll ever forget your words to Yishai when you visited Yale, but I am not, nor have I ever been, an Orthodox Jew. I was, in fact, sent to additional sex-ed classes in the local Unitarian church to make sure I didn't have any hang-ups. I masturbated regularly for several years without realizing the intent of said was to ejaculate, but assumed that the wet dreams meant all the plumbing was in good shape. Thanks for the advice about the organic oil; I'll hopefully find time and space to implement it despite the size of my dorm room. Are you certain you don't know of any physical, rather than psychological, conditions that could prevent conscious orgasm?

Best,
A

Hi A,

I'm laughing! So you were there in room at Yale when I thought all that hissing noise (that I couldn't hear) was really just big grins on those fresh young faces? What an experience that was for me! Can I assume you were on the Dems side of the room?

I do believe you answered your own question:"I masturbated regularly for several years without realizing the intent of said was to ejaculate, but assumed that the wet dreams meant all the plumbing was in good shape."

Correct! However, if I were you, I'd still see a good urologist just to make sure. I'll bet that as soon as you make the appointment, you will shoot a big intentional load. That's the usual case. Whatever we think is out of whack, once we call the doctor and get an appt. the problem goes away. Do let me know what you discover since this is a fairly unusual case.

Your Dirty Mouth Sex Teacher,

Dr. Betty

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