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I Want More Than One Orgasm During Sex

Tue, 02/28/2012 - 09:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I've written to you a couple of times over the past few years. I doubt you'd remember, as you're a very busy lady, but real quick... I had my first orgasm w/ the magic wand about seven years ago, enjoyed many orgasms from that wonderful device but was determined to learn to come w/o a vibe, progressed to coming from the shower heard, then to while watching porn, then to my partner's fingers inside and mine on my clit, to finally enjoying orgasms induced by oral stimulation or my partner's hands in (sometimes) less than twenty minutes. I am quite happy with the progress I've made and have very much enjoyed the journey.

My question now is if you have any suggestions on how I can learn to enjoy more than one orgasm with a partner? I find it frustrating that I can come up to five times if I'm watching the right porn clips, but struggle to experience more than one when I'm with a partner. I've listened to what you've said about watching porn and how it floods the senses, and I do limit my viewing, but sometimes I do allow myself the pleasure.

So yes. I would like to know if there's anything else you recommend I do. I've read much of your work, and have a feeling you'll suggest I not focus on the orgasms themselves... but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

I do see this as the logical next challenge for me, and don't feel overly distraught by the problem. I've come a long way from needing the Hitachi, Tori Amos, 3 candles and one hour for just one orgasm! Additionally, I'm recently out of a three year relationship and am enjoying sex with a new partner who asks how else he can please me after orgasm #1, and I don't particularly like not having an answer for him. My last partner knew just one was a success and we didn't frequently venture into attempting for multiples.

I tried to keep this email short, but I think I failed in my attempt. Anyway, thanks for all you do. I was really disappointed I missed you at SSSS this year. I've gone to the past two conferences, but couldn't go this year as I've started an accelerated nursing program up in Portland, OR. Congrats on the award, and a lifetime of inspiring success.

L

Dear L,

If I didn't know better I'd say you are a sex piggy. My time is better spent with young girls who have yet to have a first orgasm. Congratulations on getting everything you wanted to accomplish so far. Just keep on going.

Happy Orgasmic New Year,

Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Graduate from Betty's school

Tue, 02/28/2012 - 15:25
Fond Care

Hello L
Looks like you are a graduate from Betty's school, and ready for more adventure. Sex learning does seem to be an adventure for many of us.
Why not have a look at Eric Amaranth's blog and site for discussion of more advanced love making. There is also the Onetaste orgasmic meditation approach.
Actually, Betty's BodySex groups are also pretty advanced stuff.
Another approach that may work for you id the technique of going up close to orgasm a number of times but not over the top to climax. This is a way to learn both with yourself and with your partner - the later being quite a bit more difficult for you and him to learn.

Why would you shame someone?

Fri, 03/02/2012 - 08:17
Collette

Betty, I have read and reread your response and am baffled by it. Why would you shame someone who was sincerely coming to you for help? If you didn't want to waste your time answering her, you could have just not replied. Name calling seems uncalled for and beneath you. Unless, you were trying to be cute or funny, in which case, I say it is hard to detect sarcasm in the written word. If I were the writer of the post, I would take offense. You have helped lots of us with sexuality issues, both men and women, of all ages. Please don't decide to only help young girls who have yet to have an orgasm. 
Your fan,
Collette

Once again I stand corrected.

Betty Dodson's picture
Fri, 03/02/2012 - 10:01
Betty Dodson

The comment "sex piggy" was said with a big grin on my face. However, your point is taken. . . tongue in cheek humor doesn't come off well with words. I continue to be here to help everyone I possibley can. I would never intentionally shame anyone. So let's kiss and make up!

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