Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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i had FGM when i was 12, now i'm 22 and never had any kind of sexual experience in my life, never been touched by a guy, i'm afraid i won't feel anything. i tried masturbating and there's nothing, it's ticklish down there but no pleasure at all. I have part of my clitrois left..there's a very small part left.

Where i live (egypt) there's nothing such as reconstructive surgery..so is there any advice on how i can have a normal sex life?? or at least a satisfying sex life? i know you met many women who had FGM and maybe you have some advice for me.

Dear R,

Fortunately the clitoris is a much larger organ than the tip of the glans which is what we can see on the outside. The clitoris is quite extensive. Here's a link to me drawing the internal clitoris.

However, if you can feel "ticklish" I assume there are enough nerve endings left so the clitoris will work for you. Begin by regular sessions of masturbation so you can get past the ticklish sensation. That just indicates that it hasn't been touched enough. Be gentle and use some organic oil like coconut. Spend some time like 10 minutes rubbing your clitoris on a regular basis until it becomes accustomed to being touched.

That's when the tickle turns into a sexual sensation that will grow stronger. It would be great if you could get a small battery vibrator. So far the best we have found is the We vibe that sells the Tango. You could order one from our sex shop online if you have a credit card or a paypal account. It comes with its own recharger so you don't even have to buy batteries. Let me know what happens after you explore your sex organ more carefully under a bright light and include regular 10 minute sessions of massage.

Dr. Betty

Dr Betty,

thank you so much for replying..i did try to masturbate but in just few seconds it gets numb..and i don't know where to get a vibrator in egypt. but i saw the diagram i think it feel more pleasure in my labia minora i love touching them more than what's left from the clit. i want to know one last thing, if i decided to save and do the reverse operation how much would it cost me?? and where would i do it as i live in egypt, is there any doctor in africa that would do it succesfully?

thanks again Dr for giving me some of your time.

Dear R,

All reconstructive surgery dose is to eliminate scar tissue and pull the clitoral stem forward in the hopes of generating sensation. Since you have some of your glans left, your best bet is continue to massage the area gently with oil. I think you are applying too much pressure when you masturbate which causes the nerves to shut down by going "numb." This is a common complaint from all young women learning how to masturbate as adults. You all want instant success. But it takes patience and time and repetition.

You can go online to Clitoraid.org to see how their hospital in Africa is doing. Since you have some glans remaining, surgery makes no sense for you. However practicing self-stimulation does. If you get a Pay Pal account, you can watch our videos and order a vibrator from the sex store that's available from our website. I repeat: Sex is like any other skill: it takes patience, time and practice.

Dr Betty,

here's how my vagina looks like, where the clitoral hood used to be is completely flat, and where the clitoris used to be is flat visible but when i but my hands there's a very small hard thing and it feels ticklish but in few seconds it goes totally numb. i tried using lubricants and applying different grades of pressure. so i was considering the operation. i looked the site but there weren't any information on how to contact any of the surgeons. i just wanna know the costs and what to do to have it. i know you are very busy, but thanks for being kind enough and giving me some of your precious time.

Dear R,

If at all possible, please send me a clear photo of your clitoral area with the hood at rest and also pulled back. I repeat: you do not sound like a candidate for surgery. I don't know the cost or the availability in Africa. The important fact is you FEEL sensation it just doesn't match your expectations. The growing numb sensation is similar to all the women I've dealt with who have never masturbated and want a quick fix! Surgery mostly removes scare tissue but does NOT restore the clitoris. It only pulls the clitoral stem (if any is left) forward in the hopes that it will eventually respond to stimulation with some kind of stimulation. You already have sensations.

Dr. Betty

I know you want to help and i can't thank you enough, i'll try about the photo. but i saw real photos of vaginas in different shapes. i'm sure i don't have a hood it's all gone and where it used to be there's flat skins with a very little scar that looks like a very small circle, and about the clit i don't know if it's part of it or it's just the labia minora, but here's what i can see when i pull the labia minora apart there's a very little hard tihns on top that doesn't feel soft like the labia. if you can't help me with that description then i'll send you the pic.

Sorry R, I don't understand what you're saying so send a photo as I requested.

I really appreciate your help doctor, i still can't believe that you are giving me some of your time, i'll send the photo but i don't want it published on any site or seen by anyone but you please.

Agreed. For my eyes only.

Hey Dr,

i sent you the pictures , they are not clear enough but hopefully they will do it . i just need you to assure me that you deleted them after seeing them please, that will include deleting the email they are in please i beg you, i won't be able to sleep till you tell me you did. i'm sorry if what i requested is irritating but you agreed to it. waiting for your reply. and million thanks in advance.

Dear R,

I'm sorry, but the images were nearly all black. I could not see anything but a vague shadow of what might be a clitoris. As for you unnecessary concern that I delete the photos, you deleted them yourself by not having any light on the subject. We can stop now or you can try to take a picture again.

Dr. Betty

i'm so sorry for irritating you, i'll try to take them again. there were enough light but as my mobile is all i have the quality sucked. but as there might be a part of my clitoris i'll try again and send you the pictures.and about deleting the photos, i don't want you to get mad or anything but we made an agreement. and again i can never thank you enough you've been a great help and all for free.thanks

Dear R,

Your questions are not irritating. Part of my devotion is to inform young girls like you. Get a good image to me because I strongly feel you might be like a couple of other girls who had just been slightly cut but not so severely that it eliminated the clitoris. Try again. Don't worry about me showing it to anyone. I have thousands of images of vulvas all over the website.

Dr. Betty,

i didn't send you the photo cause i went to a gyno, and she told me that i have a part of my clitoris left. but of course i didn't tell her anything else. but i'm telling you that i tried masturbating and i don't get anything or any pleasure out of it, i never get pleasure from touching myself but when i read erotic stories or when i talk to my bf i get so wet, sometime when i use my imagination i feel so hot downthere and feel something like pulse and my vagina wall contracting. this is how i get pleasure but not from touching this tiny part that left from my clitoris, so is this normal??

i'm afraid of getting married and my bf doesn't know about my mutilation. by the way i read more about you, and oh my god actually i didn't know so much abot you before. you are very devoted, and i changed the way i feel about my sexuality because of you and i insist now to find a way to enjoy it and explore it despite what happened to me.i really want to thank you, you affected me more than you think.

Dear R,

So glad you saw a doctor who confirmed what I suspected. Now all there is left for you to do is follow my simple step by step process to uncover you orgasm. This does not happen overnight. So be prepared and willing to practice just like a ballet dancer learning a new routine. Patience and practice.

Internal Clitoris
http://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin/2008/07/betty-draws-internal-c...

First Time Orgasm
http://www.dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/first-time-orgasm

Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique
http://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2010/05/learn-new-orgasm... masturbation-technique

Awakening Your Clitoris
http://www.dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2011/12/awakening-clitoris

Dr. Betty