How Do I Get Out There and Become a "Slut"?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 09:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I first of course want to say that your website has changed my life and I am so thankful for the work that you guys do liberating womens' sexuality (reading it made me realize I'm not a freak or unnatural to believe what I've always believed about sex).. it's really a beautiful thing.

Now the thing is, I have always been a very sexual person. I have never been discouraged or afraid of masturbating and have been having orgasms since a very young age, and from that time knew I was interested in exploring sex. However, when I turned 15 I got my first serious boyfriend, and with him I lost my virginity and had a pretty good sex life, and found real love. We were together for six and a half years, and we are now in the process of splitting up due to mutual reasons (one of which being that I want to explore my sexuality and monogamy isn't something I feel I can commit to at this point in my life, whereas he is all-for an exclusive relationship) at age 21.

My question is: I've only been with one man sexually my whole life despite being a very sexual person, I'm young, I haven't been single for six years and have little experience with that realm.. and I want to sleep with more people! How do I do it? How do I just go out and become a "slut"? I have no idea how to approach someone to see if they would be willing to sleep with me or if they have the same views on sexuality as I do... I have no interest in going to bars or clubs, but dammit I want to fuck some dudes and I don't even know how to go about it. How do you and Carlin (as well as the other great bloggers that write here) go about attaining new sex partners from ground zero?

Help a wannabe slut out here please ;) Thank you so much and I really appreciate any advice you can offer me.

Dear E,

I admire your decision to seek more sexual experiences. Once we settle down to raise a family, monogamy can seem like a prison sentence. So the idea of sowing some wild oats in our youth makes a lot of sense. In order for you to proceed with a more casual sex life rather than being in an ongoing relationship, you must have your birth control in place. Decide how you are going to handle condoms, besides preventing pregnancy, they are the best protection against STD's. From what I've observed, the use of condoms can't always be left up to the guy. Once he gets erect, he is focused on coming inside a warm wet vagina, or
second best, your anus or mouth and as a last resort, your hand. So I'd suggest you always carry condoms and learn how to use them if you want to engage in vaginal penetration sex. Just remember, penis/vagina sex is only one way to enjoy ourselves sexually.

First off, sluts never use the term "Sleeping" with someone when we are talking about having sex! And as far as getting a guy in bed, it's very easy because most young men are interested in "getting laid" or "scoring" and many of them are as inexperienced as you are. Dancing and "making out' usually got it going for me. Once you are kissing and feeling each other up, the next step of 'going all the way" comes fairly easy. Since boys can be even more shy than girls, you might simply turn the conversation to discussing condoms. Check out his take on them. Have a conversation about the things you like best about sex or the things that turn you off. Ask him or her what they like the best when it comes to sex alone or with a partner. Just saying the word "sex" in any context gives you the first opening to a dialogue. Start talking.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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And flirt

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 14:45

Getting good a flirting helps immensely. Practicing flirting on everyone will open up opportunities, some of which you both might choose to pursue. For insight into the ethics and communication, you might want to look through the guides in sites such as swingersinvancouver.ca
Good luck E
 

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