I hope this finds you well and all set for Kissmass. I need to pick your brains on something. My daughter has decided she wants to try tampons instead of pads. So we sat down on the weekend and I did the period related "show and tell" with her first with a mirror in the bathroom. So she had a good idea of her bits and what a vagina is and where a tampon goes and why it is important to relax.
She said it was hurting so we stopped. I think she probably was too tense but could it be the hymen that is hurting? Could she have one covering her vaginal opening? I got her to try with her fingers before the tampon and to feel around inside to feel which direction her vaginal passage went so she would know which direction to push the tampon. She seemed to come up against something she described as "soft but blocking her way". Could this be her hymen? Should I encourage her to push through it to get the tampon in?
Instead of thinking it might be her hymen, (its existence has been debated) I would suspect it's simply muscular from a tight little vagina that has never been penetrated. I too remember it hurt when I first tried a tampon. Over time, using my finger to penetrate my vagina when I masturbated helped a lot. She just needs to continue to experiment on her own. Getting the right angle was also confusing, but again, practice will help. My second big hurdle was not getting it all the way inside which was very uncomfortable. Be sure she uses saliva or some kind of lube.
First time vaginal penetration takes time and practice like anything else. My girlfriend and I worked on tampon insertion one whole weekend but it took me longer to get used to it. She learned more quickly.
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