It's Too Intense When He Rubs My Clit

Tue, 11/29/2011 - 08:04
Submitted by Betty Dodson

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost two years now and we just experienced what I believe was my first vaginal penetration orgasm. In order for me to "O" I had to sit on top of him and sway back and fourth and eventually I just lose control with myself like my body is going nuts. He is always wanting to rub my clit and I always stop him because the feeling is to intense for me, or it feels like I am ready to pee the bed. I need help with this, I want him to make me feel like he can give me pleasure, because he can!! Please help, I want to let go but its too hard!

Dear K,

I would need to know how he's rubbing your clitoris? I suggest you show him how you do your clit when you masturbate. It's simply showing him how you prefer being touched. (Always with some form of lube). When you say it feels like you are going to pee, I suspect he's inside your vagina pressing on the urethral sponge or G spot. If that's the case, just ask him to please stop or just go ahead and pee! Make a choice. Once again, you are making the vaginal orgasm that is very elusive superior to clitoral orgasms. Ask yourself why. When you get on top, you are receiving indirect clit stim. Just remember, the clitoris is our primary organ of pleasure. The vagina is our birth canal that men seem to prefer for their orgasms. But most men also enjoy manual, oral or anal sex. Vaginal sex is primarily for procreation. It isn't superior to any of the other forms.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Have him learn by watching you

Wed, 11/30/2011 - 21:21

My husband gives great clit stim but he learned by watching me. We incorporate me touching myself into our partner sex. I generally need to have an orgasm or two before I can stand for him to touch my vulva. I also let him know when I want him to do it or if I would prefer to take care of it myself. I also have no problem with taking his hand away if it's not working for me. Like the couple of times he tried to do this "porn" rub on my clit through my panties. Rough touch, cotton panties, no lube? He no longer does that.  He likes to watch me orgasm and while he has the "typical" male response of loving to "give" me an orgasm, he's learned that whatever helps me orgasm makes me happy. The happier I am, the more likely I am going to cook for him and do little things to wait on him which really makes his male mind happy. Hey, if I can have so many orgasms that I lose count, I'll make him a sandwich and bring it to him.

If you can solo then the gift notion is OK I think

Thu, 12/01/2011 - 22:48

If I'm having sexual intercourse with a woman is she giving me an orgasm? I think she would be if she was riding cowgirl. The idea of a gift is quite sound If your doing the stimulating. A gift has to be judged right and it's success depends on how well you know and understand each other. If it's not working then part of the gift is not making someone feel ungrateful by showing you how they like it. If you don't need a man to orgasm and if you can come solo then the gift notion should carry good karma I think. Assisting by carressing while they masturbate themselves is nice but the idea of being able to make someone come with a relaxation orgasm is lovely, and the word giving becomes more like giving someone a massage because we can self massage and it's nice, but not quite the same experience.   

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